have you ever thought about...

love quotes and favorite pictures

2012-01-19T13:11:00.002-07:00

going on a walk in draper, ut

santa cruz, ca sunset

in provo watching fireworks for pioneer day

what is lost...

2011-09-27T23:11:00.000-07:00

for one of my courses, i had to read from "pathologies of power" by paul farmer. he is a brilliant man with excellent ideas on human rights, global health, poverty, etc.

here is an excerpt from his afterword:

...is it really useless to complain? ...writing about human suffering runs many risks, and most of these risks have been the subject of too much commentary. but there is also the artifice of packaging something so it offends the senses, but not too much. surely this too is a marker of lost innocence.

...i contemplate my own loss of innocence with resentful, sometimes even tearful, silence. from whom can i demand it back? as garcía lorca said, "things that go away never return--everybody knows that."

everybody knows that things that go away never return.

-paul farmer

i have had many conversations with survivors of sexual violence, and the one thing i hear more than any other is, "it will never come back." collectively, they say their: virginity, innocence, dignity, and a whole number of other things that were taken from them during the act will never return. i've often thought about this, and wondered the same thing that paul farmer did: from whom can they demand it back? is it really useless to complain?

one of the cutest little munchkins from
the orphanage in ecuador

these are all answers, or rather questions, i am currently grappling with in striving for justice in such a place we live in. yet, after countless hours discussing what we can do to change this world, to make it a little more beautiful, i find solace i knowing that there are so many people out there striving to do just that. people who give strangers smiles, compliments, and even hugs. people leaving concerts that let that one car that's been waiting forever sneak in in front of them. that person at the grocery store that goes above and beyond telling you their favorite way to cook the chicken when all you asked was if it was on sale.

and then i smile to myself, knowing one thing for certain: even if we can not regain our innocence, or those things we have lost that do not come back, we can always replace the space with something beautiful.

scars

2011-09-25T23:11:00.001-07:00

to be alive at all is to have scars.

-john steinbeck

as I am studying in my program and contemplating the suffering of many types of people around the world, i am realizing more and more the reality of this quote. we are often asked to contemplate the question: what is universal? what has no bounds? what is absolutely inalienable?

is love universal?

is suffering universal?

the more critically i think about these things that are intrinsically ours, the more i realize my heart is being opened to understand and love those around me. they say the more we work in this field, the less full our proverbial glass is....

and yet, that has led me to ask: who is drinking out of that glass? where is that second straw coming from? (as my professor so eloquently put it) maybe if our glass is less full, maybe if we have a different view on things that aren't all glitter and rainbows, we are more easily able to appreciate life, and fill our glass with those things that mean the most?

just a little stream of consciousness....

vietnam: perfume pagoda

2011-09-20T23:11:00.002-07:00

the second day we were there, we decided to go see this place called the perfume pagoda. apparently, it's quite the big deal, and hundreds of thousands of people in vietnam and other countries make a pilgrimage there yearly.

this place is breath-taking. the only way to get in or out is through the river, and these sweet vietnamese people row you there and back. it is the most peaceful thing to experience, as it's pretty dead silent and all you can hear is the water going. it was definitely a great way to spend our first day there because we learned so much!

we had the CUTEST little vietnamese guy as our tour guide named tuan. he was so happy, and explained so much to us about the vietnamese culture, and more specifically about vietnamese buddhism (mahayana, or renovated buddhism).

i LOVED the ideology behind mahayana and there were two things that totally stuck out to me about it:

1. it allows women to practice the faith, and in the end allows them to become Gods.

2. the literal meaning behind the indian word is "bigger boat" or bigger vehicle. in the end, it just means that more people can be saved, and there's room for more. how amazing is that?

some other gems i learned about buddhism:

you have to do 10,000 good things before becoming a buddah, which is why everyone is so kind, and always trying to serve
each living thing has a soul and a cycle, all the way from a stone to a buddah. that's why they don't kill anything (including fierce looking bugs)
in order to get reincarnated as the next best thing, you have to help someone. they believe that in helping others, you lift yourself
everything is in odd numbers (when they pray they shake their hands, or the number of statues, etc.) to represent balance in their lives

tuan taught us that the mantra of a vietnamese person is:

"the thing you can't forget, forgive, and the things you can't forgive, forget it"

i found many similarities between what i believe, the way in which i believe we should treat others, and buddhists/overall vietnamese ideologies.

ps. check out kate's most recent post about vietnam...and mostly how we met. how i love that girl.

gym rat

2011-09-18T23:11:00.002-07:00

here's a tid bit of a day in the life of brook dorff:

sleep in.
check social media.
study.
fall asleep reading one of the 8983787923 pages of reading per week.
WORK OUT TO STAY AWAKE.
take a nap.
check social media.
study/read/study/read/study/read
get sleepy.
WORK OUT WORK OUT WORK OUT WORK OUT.
shower/get ready for some sort of social event (this is a rare thing--happens maybe once or twice a week these days...the social event, not the showering).
stay for not too long because i want to "get back into a schedule, be productive in the morning" (and also remain mysterious and fascinating so boys actually have to ask me out--ridic, right?!)
check social media.
go to sleep.
repeat.

seriously! i have like 14 days in a week, because every half of a day is like a mini day!

i mean, look how great her butt looks!

which leads me to my next problem: the gym.

can i just vent about two things really quickly?!

1. i hate people who are machine hogs!! the other day i kept going back, only to find the same lady hogging the elliptical!! i mean, heaven forbid i have to go running OUTSIDE (read: no air conditioning, and no cardio cinema). what did people do back in the day without these?! #whitegirlproblems
2. i REALLY hate when people judge how slowly i am going on the elliptical or the stationary bike. like you know how they try to take ninja peeks at you, or pretend like they're looking past you, but you really know they're totally judging you because you're going in slow motion....BECAUSE YOU'RE AT LIKE RESISTANCE OF 20 TRYING TO GET YOUR BOOTY TO LOOK GOOD AGAIN!! and they're going like 500 miles per hour, on resistance of 1 and think they're so great just zooming past you. talk to me in a month, and we'll see who's cool then!

livin' the dream, i tell ya
keep it classy, guys
xoxo

vietnam: china hates us

2011-09-16T11:11:00.001-07:00

we had a 14 hour lay-over both ways in china on the way to vietnam (after a 14 hour flight), and we wanted nothing more than to get out and explore china! well, after trying relentlessly to get a visa here in the US, we figured we could just try to get one while we were in vietnam. i mean, wouldn't china want us to spend our hard-earned cash there? wouldn't they just want to boost tourism/their economy?? you would think so!
wrong.
in the end, china hates us and wouldn't let us into their country without: a written invitation from someone in china, a perfect itinerary of where we'd go, what we'd do, who we'd see and smell and look at and smile at, how many steps we'd take total, and about how many inches apart each of those steps would be, what our outfit would look like every waking minute, and how many people we'd say "i love china" to on the street. instead, we were forced to go in circles in the smallest, dumbest airport on the planet. we may or may not have instead: spent hours doing our makeup in the duty free shops, gone to see buddahs to buy in the two shops total a FEW times, gotten a "milkshake" (read: milk with nesquick, oh and the disclaimer at the bottom: food may not taste like the picture, and yes, the chinese lady laughed at us when we complained) that cost something close to $15.00, and figured out which bathrooms had holes in the ground, and which ones you could sit on.
honestly, we were pretty bugged at china, and you know what? that's one of those countries that has been taken off my "to see" list for life!! (yes, us latinas know how to hold a good grudge!)

at the vietnamese/chinese border in northern vietnam. we were giving china attitude! take that!

we love vietnam!!

the road that takes you to china. in vietnamese: beware, china isn't very nice!! in chinese: enter at your own risk!

there you have it

2011-09-12T23:11:00.001-07:00

picture i took in vietnam, quote i took from someone who told me...i can't remember whom, but it was good.

vietnam: good mooooorning vietnam!

2011-09-10T11:11:00.000-07:00

well, i figured it's about time i blogged about vietnam.

here's the truth. are you ready? I.LOVED.IT. i've traveled to quite a few places in my 25 years, but let me tell you vietnam was definitely top three. however, i tend to fall in love with any new place i travel.

this was an entirely different experience for me, because i'd never been to a country where i didn't speak the language, or where someone couldn't translate for me. i went with two of my greatest friends brittany, and kate, and we had an absolute blast. i couldn't write quickly enough, and take quick enough notes on the things that i was learning!!

so this will be an introduction to the trip, of sorts, and i'll answer the most FAQs.

1. why vietnam?
well, brittany and i had been talking about doing an amazing trip for quite some time. we threw names out there like belize, south africa, india, istanbul, new zealand, and for some reason we just kept coming back to vietnam. we'd look at other flights, but secretly we'd both be google imaging vietnam for hours on end at work, and one day we both admitted it to each other and it was like it all CLICKED. the stars aligned, and it all came together before we knew it. it met all the requirements: a beach, new culture, indigenous people, somewhere we'd never been.

2. why brittany and kate?
because they're amazing!! britt and i had talked about going somewhere for a while (i was turning 25, she turned 30, celebrating 1 year of her divorce, lots of stuff). kate, on the other hand, i knew would be up for anything any time (background: we met in ECUADOR on trips we had planned to go on by ourselves two years prior, we're both adventurous only children, who have the no-one-can-stop-me attitude), so i told her we were going, and she didn't even think twice about it. we bought our tickets the next day!

3. where in vietnam did you go?
unfortunately we only had the pleasure of exploring the northern part. someday i'll go back and do the middle and southern parts of vietnam! and go see thailand, and ankor wat, and the philippines, and everywhere else in south east asia that blows my mind! so the cities we spent the most time in were: hanoi, ha long bay, cat ba island, and sa'pa. absolutely incredible, and i'd recommend it to anyone!!

4. what did you do?
we showed up with no plan. the only thing we knew we had was two nights at the hilton the first two days there, and one night the last night there. all we had were some travel books we bought right before leaving, our passports, some ca$h, and a duffle bag/backpack each....as for what we did and what we learned, stay tuned for more sporadic posts in the next few weeks :)

country hip hop dancing > hip hop > country

2011-09-07T11:11:00.000-07:00

remember that one time i hated country music?
remember how....
whitney was the first to try to convert me, and she definitely laid out the ground work. i may have been able to recognize a rascal flatts song or two.
a few years down the road, heather did all she could to get me to love it. being from down south, she was born and raised on this musical snack. we even had a "white trash bash" where she put together a play list of her favorite most country stuff she could find.

then my dear cousin/roomie karina tried her best, but i would whine and whine when country music was on. seriously, that stuff USED to make my ears bleed.
*honorable mention goes to bronwyn

well, a few weeks ago i went to a free kellie pickler concert, and it made all the difference. this girl was gorgeous, charming, and had the cutest stories to go behind the cutest songs. that was the day i was converted to country. not only that, but i dug up my old white trash bash mix, and was playing it the other day BEFORE i went out to....wait for it....country dancing! i know, i know. i'm so proud of myself.

however, combining the best of both worlds would be ideal (watch this, you wont be disappointed):

#whitegirlproblems

2011-09-05T11:11:00.013-07:00

i've been here one month today, and the only two good things i could come up with to whine about:

1. i can't get more tan because then my expensive foundation/makeup wont match!!
2. i hate when my new roomie and friends have the same "good side" as me...super inconvenient for pictures because our only options become a) we have to look like we're spooning because we're all doing the same good side; b) one of us has to, heaven forbid, take the pic on our bad side; c) we are on the bad side but twist our heads all weird so it's on the good side but it ends up being awkward/bad/weird; d) we take 500 pictures each with a few on our good side.

...and don't tell me you don't know what i'm talking about!

#whitegirlproblems

(one of us is on our good side, and the other is not....who is who?!)

world changers

2011-09-03T11:11:00.004-07:00

a few people have wondered what exactly my program is. they've all asked what do you study in your courses? what will you be when you grow up? what can you even do with a degree like that?

this is the reason i am in the program.
the kids in the dominican republic changed me forever.
puerto plata, DR, 2006

well, i had a great post talking about how i felt about everyone in my class, how awesome they all are, and how i felt entirely inadequate. however, one of the girls in my cohort took the words right out of my mouth, so i'll just link to her post. seriously, these people are incredible, and i feel like i've hit the ground running. if i can only lift where i stand, i feel like i might make a small difference in the world. click here to see her thoughts.

...and to leave you with a little snippet of our passion, enthusiasm, and desire to change the world, we watched this in class on monday. let me tell ya, i was fighting holding back tears, and i know all of us in my program would do this, given the chance. i can't wait until some video of me SCHOOLING the UN is posted on youtube!

love you all,

brookie

it's like those kissing salt shakers...

2011-09-01T11:11:00.001-07:00

anybody who knows anything about me knows i absolutely am enamored with love. the thing is, i go through these periods in life when i think i've completely learned to understand every aspect of love, and then BAM i get smacked in the face with something entirely new, only to re-discover it's glory in a whole new meaning.

...but i digress. i'll leave you with these words from some author from the interwebzz. what is it about love that just makes us keep going back?! you know, the boys that when you see their name light up on your phone, give you butterflies, and you spend a good ten minutes trying to come up with a good response, and the best you end up with is: "ok :)." can't live with it, can't live without it.

"...scenes with the two of them that made me happy even if the characters were miserable because even when they were miserable together, it was better for them than when they were apart. there’s that thing about falling in love where you know it’s a mistake and you’re too damn smart to do that again, but it’s just THERE, your heart beats faster when you see him, he smiles the minute he sees you, and even when it’s awful, even when you swear never again, you have to go back. it’s like those kissing salt shakers with magnets in their mouths, you just have to click together."

i took this in santa cruz last november

what am i DOING

2011-08-30T11:11:00.000-07:00

so if you're on facebook, and you're my friend, you know that i decided to take a life turn and go to graduate school. to some people, it may have seem out of the blue, but here's the story of why and how it all happened. reader's digest version, of course.

well, about a year and a half ago, i: took the GRE, got a fantastic score, decided not to apply to graduate school because i was happy with my job, then decided to apply because things were changing quickly, got accepted to a few schools, decided not to go to school because of a "promotion" at work, didn't get the promotion and lost my job, got a new job (remember THIS overly-dramatic post?? (how do you guys handle all of my drama?)), learned a lot from the new job, started getting antsy again and thinking about graduate school, decided no on graduate school*, then all of a sudden decided yes**, and left a week later.

*i had decided no for a few reasons:
1. i wasn't sure i wanted to be in debt.
2. i wanted to make one thousand percent sure (yes, i realize this is impossible) that i wasn't running away. i didn't want to run away from unhappiness in my job, dating, social scene, weather, or anything. i wanted to be sure that the decision i was making was objective and logical, not irrational and reactional (not a word, i know).
3. someday way down the line in my life i wanted to be married, and what i didn't want was to go into a marriage with debt, and an inability to fully live out the dream and career that graduate school would fuel and provide.

**it was the perfect timing:
1. i realized debt was so worth it. i was getting to a point where i was no longer progressing, and this was the next step to make me uncomfortable once again.
2. life was perfect. i had the perfect friends and maybe some of the best girl friends i've had in a long time, job was tolerable (although we were going to lose funding soon and work dynamics changed quickly), dating picking up speed, i loved where i lived, who i lived with, my grocery store, my pool, my apartment complex, my church, the sky, the sights and views, the things i did on the weekends, i was loving life in every single sense of the phrase.
3. i realized that somebody someday would love me for my crazy ideas and dreams and ambition. some crazy man would someday want to stick it out through my fickle dramatic stints, and that they would support me in the fuel that graduate school would provide me with to go out and change the world.

i would be lying to you if i said it was easy to just pack up and leave, especially with such little notice. it was anything but that. i had to tell my work the same day that it was my last day working there. i had to tell all of my friends and people i loved so deeply that i was leaving. i cried a lot. i also laughed at myself because once upon a time i really despised utah, and i had realized that i had made it my home for the last seven years. perhaps i learned to love it, own it, and sometimes defend it.

nonetheless, here i am in arizona. 22 days, and i am loving it here. my sweet dad (i would have been a lost wreck without him) drove my uhaul, stayed with me in a hotel until we found me a place to live, and even picked out a few husbands for me at church, haha. the place i live is charming. the city i live in is just my style. my roommate is adorbs. the people i have met and friends i have made are hilarious, amazing, and fun. the weather is perfect, but the main reason that i came for was school, and that has exceeded my expectations already. i am in my second week of classes, and already i am feeling myself expand, question, grow, and seek for more. i am realizing the things i can do to change the world around me, and the things that are happening around me to change me.

i've asked myself a few times, "what in the world am i DOING??!" i've woken up a few times in my new place wondering where in the world i am. i even sometimes think that i'm just on vacation, and i'll be back "home" before i know it. then, i realize how everything has worked out perfectly, and this is exactly where i'm supposed to be right now. this is going to be a beautiful experience for me, and i hope you are all ready for some really serious blog posts, and probably some ridiculous ones too. i kind of feel like some sort of pathogen growing in a lab. i am mutating and growing at unnatural rates, and have become immune to anything and anyone stopping me.

xoxo,
your favorite masters candidate in social justice and human rights
your favorite sun devil
brookie*

missing...

2011-06-21T10:11:00.032-07:00

i have so many things to say lately...

i still have all of my thoughts on love that i never shared

and i learned so much on my travels to vietnam.

take this as an introduction to my future thoughts that are about to derail and unload.

i realized this last trip, that there were so many people in my life that i wished had seen something there with me. maybe someone i thought needed to see a deserted beach (that they thought i'd get kidnapped from), or someone needed to come see all the glorious silk scarves and gorgeous colors, or someone i KNEW would love the musical/dance production.

then, i came home and saw this quote, and knew it was meant to be. i juxtaposed my new favorite quote, with a picture that i took in vietnam looking out in to cat ba in a heart-shaped coral rock. funny how every place i fall in love with, there is something that is heart-shaped. maybe it should be a new project??

you set me on fiiiire

2011-04-18T10:11:00.001-07:00

so, i haven't blogged for a few months now. i'm on a really great roll.

this may not be my most insightful blog post, but this is the way my mind works, and my URL is brook's thoughts on life....so here goes.

upon listening to britney spears' latest album on repeat for a few weeks now (sorry, roommate, you know who you are) i've come to one conclusion: there is one great britney spears song to document and represent ever significant event in my adult life.*

the following is my explanation. bear with me, i define my life in terms of friend groups, boys, and significant health problems. sad, i know.

1. ...baby one more time: jr. high. i shaved my legs for the first time. i had my first pretend boyfriend (don't worry mom and dad, we didn't kiss or anything--just told everyone we were boyf/gf).
2. oops i did it again: graduated jr. high, started high school, made dance team, field hockey team, and loads of other stuff.
3. toxic: graduated from HS, first real boyfriend. we were in high school love. it was cute. oh, and i went to college in a completely different state--a cold one, nonetheless.
4. slave for you: had a whirlwind dance team season, then quit. made it to CCS finals for field hockey (that's a big deal!).
5. piece of me: changed my major (this was my "stick it to the man" song), broke a few hearts after having mine smashed, took dancing seriously again in college.
6. gimme more/womanizer: second boy i ever loved....he liked dancing, and we had so much fun. dancing+fun=britney spears, naturally.
7. circus: new town (moved from provo finally!), new friends, new job, new interests.
8. ...and the latest, gasoline/set me on fire: new job, new boy interest, new outlook on life, new country to visit, new QUARTER OF A CENTURY!, new house/apartment/condo, new clothes (haha)...

in conclusion: besides her own crises (shaved head?! back-up dancer hubs, crazy kids, and over-exposures), britney has been the only thing true to me (besides my dear loyal boyfriend of a car, oh and my parents). her music has never left my side through the thick and the thin (literally). through all my boys, majors, life decisions, moves, and jobs.

britney, keep killin' it.
*adult is being defined as over 14, because this is my blog and i do what i want

Christmas

2010-12-25T19:07:00.002-07:00

here i am in Cupertino. this place smells, feels like, and looks like home. it is home to me. i've had a lovely time being with my family, and remanscing about beautiful and hilarious times we've had with just the three of us.

i've been thinking about lot about Christmas, and what it means to me, and in all honesty, i think it all comes down to love. us needing, sharing, understanding, and living love in our lives, and the only way to be able to gain more and more for even those we may not want to love is through Christ.

i hope you've all had a gorgeous Christmas, and that you've all been able to soak up all the warm fuzzies Christmas has to offer. hopefully you've filled your heart (and stomach) so you feel like if you sit around any longer you might explode, and hopefully you can find more ways to love others.

this video made me cry (although sometimes it doesn't take a lot to make me cry haha). the simple little 3-min video combined: the weepies, BYU's modern dance program, and modern dance, all of which are my favorites. click on the link to see his actual Web site (and the making-of which is inspiring!!!!), but for now just enjoy the video.

love, warm fuzzies, and cold noses,
xoxo
brookie*

can't get enough of love

2010-12-04T14:09:00.000-07:00

i've decided to commandeer the title of "love advocate."

it seems i can't get enough of it lately.

finding love(ly) tunes, melodies, movies, clips, pictures, etc.

here are two of my latest favorite clips:

1. stardust. (sorry michelle, i know you dislike this movie, but this may be the best monologue on love that ever did exist. i dare you to find better--if you do, leave it in my comments). yvaine, a star, confesses her love to her travel buddy....

2. this sweet trailer for upcoming movie "restless." i have to admit, it looks a little cheesy/weird (okay he has a friend that's a japanese ghost), but i looooove the line at the end. you're lying to me if you say you haven't ever felt like that.

xoxo
ps. i couldn't wait until 11:11 tonight to post this, so i'm doing 2:09 (which adds up to 11)

relations with ships, day 3

2010-11-27T23:11:00.004-07:00

i am juice-less for good titles today.

today's "class" was on relationships, mostly focusing on intimate ones. i soaked up every second of it because it's something i've been working on and gathering lately. gathering like people in the kalahari desert gather roots for water. i have seriously been thirsting after what i can do, who i can become, and how i can better my current relationships and ideals on love.

the format from what i learned from this lesson will be entirely scatter-brained so i will list the most excellent points, in no particular order. the first bullet will be the quote/note i took. the indented bullet beneath will be my very own thoughts. lucky you!

1. with regard to current relationships, if you want out of one, you associate pain with staying in it. if you want in, you associate pain with leaving. relationships are about emotional associations. we don't respond to life itself. we respond to what we associate with life (or the situation).

a. not much i can add to this

2. relationships should be about unlimited giving and sharing. the second you start measuring what you or they've done, it becomes a transaction.

a. this is something that i practice when dating (not in real relationships, however i haven't been in a "real" one for a long time.....but when dating, i tend to measure who invited who last. who texted last. who texted first. is it my "turn?" this for me has been hard to balance, because unfortunately we can't be too over-eager during the game phase, which stinks. i wish i could just spend time with them when i wanted to, text them if i felt like it without having to worry if i'm "being too much" or who did it last? this mentality has temporarily ruined me. because i've been in the game for so long, without this beautiful reminder, i may have gotten into a relationship and entirely forgotten that it's no about keeping tabs. it's about unlimited love, sharing, and giving.

3. no quote.

a. he had us write a list of what we are looking for (and identifying our "musts") and what we need to be to attract that. the funny thing is that i recently went through all almost-three-hundred of my posts and created a "tag cloud" on the side for your viewing pleasure and my own sanity. as i was going through each of my posts, i ran across some gems, and these two in particular that relate to my assignments. WARNING: I CREATED THESE YEARS AGO. a letter "to my perfect man" describing him, and a funny resumé of myself. interestingly enough, the letter to my perfect man is still my perfect man, but i have some different things added, and i'm not nearly as cheesy as i was before. the resumé of myself has changed a bit as my priorities, passions, ideas, and hobbies have changed. fun to see that about myself, and good to know my ideas about who i want to end up with haven't changed with where the wind has blown me.

b. my one beef with the list thing: people get too stuck on it. i completely agree with him when he says that to attract what you want, you have to know what you want and what you have to become. completely agree. however, when "musts" on the list are physical traits, or ridiculously specific (like "he has to have gone to at least 23 countries and one of them has to be kenya), that is immature in my opinion. thoughts?? i used to have physical traits on my list when i was 19, but i realized with time, that as long as i was attracted to someone (sure, i have a type, but some of my favorite people i've dated haven't met my "type" at all), physical stuff can grow...

4. make a list of your "magic moments" big and small. ask yourself, "what do i love about them?" then go over the magic moments with your companion.

a. i LOOOOVE this point! i used to do this all the time with the last guy i dated (again, i've forgotten about this because i've been so out of relationship-practice), and i promise you it works! magic moments can be big or small--from a fleeting smile or cute text, to big important celebrations and dates remembered.

all i can say is, this has been a wonderful reminder and refresher course. through my searching in finding and figuring out what love is,

i've learned this: love is a muscle, and a skill.

my sweet grandparents who have used the love muscle long enough...they're like love body-builders!
viña del mar, chile

if it is not exercised, it can quickly atrophy, and when used, seems to become the fountain of youth. you must practice and refine it, just as you must your body, playing the piano, or getting good at algebra, and when you do reach that point of being able to love and give freely (whether it is intimate or not), you will experience the "fountain of youth" effect. <--this was going to be a topic of one of my "love" blog posts, but i'll just leave it at that.

think about it.

pain and pleasure, day 2

2010-11-26T23:11:00.012-07:00

i can already tell a huge change this program has made in my life. i feel myself realizing that i am not fulfilling my dreams. i see myself settling for those things that are mundane and mediocre, without a way of getting out of the daily rut. this has come at a perfect time for me to make huge changes in my life.

it's been great to learn from someone who uses real-life examples to help us change, and i've loved every second, no matter how embarrassing or painful my realizations have come to me.

one thing that tony talked about in day two (it was split up into two days, so i just combined it in one post), is how what drives us to change to make big decisions and to run after our dreams. the two things he identifies as things that drive us in life are:
pain and pleasure.

one of the times in my life i've experienced the most pain--emotionally and physically
man, i look scary!! circa early 2008, burst appendix and burst heart (so dramatic!)
....but man did it move me into action!

see, he talks about how until we experience one of those emotions, we tell ourselves lies and stories. we tell ourself that we: "don't have enough time," "need breaks," "might lose someone if we tell the complete truth," etc. (those are all my own personal excuses i wrote down during an exercise). think about how many huge decisions you've made in your life? have you made a big decision to change your health habits (sleeping, eating, exercising) because of something painful someone said to you? have you changed the way you treat others because of something wonderful someone did to you?

i identified a few key points in my life where i wanted results, and decided to examine and understand maybe why i haven't made changes. why haven't i moved toward the solution, and just moved away from the problem? through that exercise, i was able to cause some pain (examining my own beliefs on why i'm too chicken to do something, why i've been frustrated or sad with a certain outcome in my job, relationships, and physical goals), and it's caused me to move. i've decided to become a mover and a shaker.

sure, there may be opposition that shows up to stop me masked as love, but i feel that now i know how to overcome that, and i am ready to achieve all that i was made to achieve. i will change my belief system, because whether i believe i can or i can't, i am RIGHT.

xoxo
brook
ps. follow along on richard's blog to read about other people going through the same program.

i will not settle for mediocrity, day 1

2010-11-24T23:11:00.087-07:00

"Your life is your own, to develop or to destroy. You can blame others little and yourself almost totally if that life is not a productive, worthy, full, and abundant one. Others can assist or hinder you, but the responsibility is yours and you can make it great, mediocre, or a failure." -Spencer w Kimball

one of the happiest summers of my life!

when i stumbled across this quote, it sparked something within me, and made me reevaluate my path in life, and whether or not i was okay with where it was going. literally a few days later one of my favorite people in the whole world, Richard, talked to me about doing this incredible program created by Anthony Robbins with a group of people. yesterday was my first day and let me tell you, i'm ready to make my life above and beyond great.

for now, my "love" posts will be postponed, and i will take you on my 9-day journey through "Get the Edge." the insights i'll be learning about myself and life in general might be beneficial to you as it has been to me. maybe not, but at least you'll get to see me make a fool of myself on here.

without further delay, here are my thoughts from day 1:

one of the main nuggets of wisdom i pulled from yesterday was that "my quality of life is the quality of consistent emotions i feel."

i thought a lot about that idea, and how if i feel that my day went well, then it went well. if i feel that my day went poorly, then i'll tell people i had a lousy day. my day quality = my emotions, and my emotions are easily controlled. sure, there are times where an emotion sneaks up on me and takes me by surprise but more often than not i either choose to sulk and savor the negative or empowering feeling, or i brush it aside and go with what i really want to. i'll either sit and stew about how i am feeling left out, or i'll move on and say "no big deal, brook." i learned that i can focus on things that are positive, and that in turn my life will be positive.

now, throughout my short 24 years of life, i've had times where i can remember just exuding, leading, and oozing joy and happiness. there have definitely been times on the other hand where i want to absorb everything that made me upset, and nothing can cheer me up because i don't want to be cheered up. i'll be the first to admit, i'm nowhere near i've been in the past and i've made a new commitment to JUMP out of bed in the morning no matter what. i've re-committed to not focus on poisonous emotions that in turn show in my countenance and radiate (however poorly) onto others.

i take my life where i know it can go--beyond mediocre, and i wont blame it on anyone else.

cheesy? probably. awesome? yes.

chances....

2010-11-23T11:11:00.002-07:00

a while ago, i wrote a post about love and how i've questioned it for quite some time now. i thought i knew my answer then, but now i know it in a more profound way than i could have ever asked for.

i was recently told that i feel emotions more deeply than most people, that i'm never content with being...content. i'm never in between, grey, or mediocre. well, i flew from love-doubt into being a love-lover again, and i have several thoughts on love. i've cooked up thoughts on different aspects love, different types of love, different ways to love, why love is so touchy, and i've collected quotes, dreams, thoughs, and songs on love. i am a firm advocate of love now, and hope to spread it -- thick and creamy like peanut butter. i just love love!

look forward to the next few posts on love, but for now, look back on the comments on my last post. they're absolutely beautiful, and all come from people i totally admire. they originate from people i trust, and people who i know believe in love because they've found love.

for now, i'll leave you with this:

is there a better bet than love??

and so it is

2010-11-19T11:11:00.001-07:00

"the cure for anything is salt water:

sweat, tears, or the sea"

Isak Dinesen

i need more heart real estate

2010-11-16T23:11:00.002-07:00

sometimes, just sometimes, i feel as if i am so overwhelmed.
but not like stressed out, or i have too much to do or anything, that rarely happens.

i feel like my heart is overwhelmed. i feel as if i have no more physical space for any sort of emotions, and i feel like i don't have the right ideas, feelings, emotions, or words to synthesize what is going on. maybe it's not that i don't have the right ones, maybe it's just that i just have too many.

feelings take over me, and i feel like i need to make room for more to pour in. i can't take it all in, and i start these soliloquies in which i have to figure what i'm even feeling. i need to just take a deep breath, and hope that some heart real estate (HR) clears up for me to use all of my brain real estate (BR) productively.

see, the problem with my very own HR and BR, is that they often disagree. i tend to lean towards my BR because it is logical. it always makes sense, and i can count on its ever-present logic model. x always equals y. i like formulas and steps, and my precious BR has so many formulas etched into its crevasses that i could never go wrong.

then all of a sudden my HR steps in, and introduces exceptions to all my BR has learned to understand, and my homeostatic state suddenly becomes interrupted. my poor little heart fights to be heard over the overwhelming BR, and i quickly find myself needing more room to take it all in. taking in my circumstances--understanding whether i'm feeling love or friendship; understanding if i'm happy or content; understanding that often others' opinions will diffuse my own, and i must not always listen to what others say; understanding why someone would mistake my good intention for something hurtful; understanding that it's sometimes okay to miss people so much your heart aches, and that this is all part of this glorious experience we call life.

so cheers to allowing my heart to grow, and sometimes be heard.
cheers to figuring out when it's okay for x not to equal y, and to sometimes being completely irrational.

Garth and Kat

2010-11-14T11:11:00.001-07:00

this is a shout out to Michelle and Lizzy

ever really hyper or bored one night?? try this, and try not to pee your pants of laughing too hard
ps the very last one is the funniest

judgements: Subway edition

2010-11-11T23:11:00.001-07:00

so once upon a time, I was a sandwich artist.

i know, shocker, right?? i sure DID work in the food industry and i loved every aspect of my job except for the fact that it dealt with food, for a few reasons:
1. i can't cook
2. raw meat makes me gag

however, i loved my job for the following reasons:
1. i worked at subway, and therefore it was more of an art-skill than a cooking-skill
2. i was stationed in the DORMS, which meant i got hit on by adorable 18-year-old boys, and i got to see the extension of high school that is the dorms
3. i gave excellent and free dating advice to boys who suddenly had their choice of gorg girls, and girls who suddenly had a lot of boys going after them. it was glorious

anyhoo, after working there a year, i could tell you what type of person would order what type of sandwich, and what that meant about them. ready??

Cold Cut Trio/Italian BMT:
The classy boy or girl. Girl likes wearing expensive clothes from foreign lands, boy wears scarves and pea-coats. Each gender who buys this sandwich likes to think of themselves as the intellectual, traveled type, and will occasionally throw out big words. Generally paired with a "pepperccini" (yellow pepper in Laman-terms), salt, pepper, oil, and vinegar. Rarely will you find one of these high society sandwiches paired with a "lesser" sauce (chipotle, ranch, mayo, etc.).

Turkey/Veggie:
Generally these people are also classy, yet they are okay being "regular." They go for the healthier option because they care about their mind and body, not because that's what they think is "classy." Likely candidates range from cheerleader/dancer to computer scientist to business man/woman as long as they seem to be in good physical and mental condition.

Meatball:
This sandwich is in its own class. Men who order this seem to be meatheads (pun intended), and are generally the louder, taller, buffer, and beefier grade of man. Brutes and athletic types flock to this sandwich, and they generally don't put any vegetables or sauces on it in order to keep its purity of meat. Females whose option is meatball are a peculiar type. Generally, they are self-proclaimed tomboys and grew up playing softball or shot put. There are, however, the few exceptions of really small girls who choose this sandwich to prove that they are not, as others may think, anorexic. Note: they never actually finish their whole 6-inch meatball.

Chicken Bacon Ranch/Steak and Cheese:
These people are "average Joes." The thing is, that compared to the other categories of sandwiches, they are no one in particular, yet you could point them out in a crowd. They are the BYUSA. They are the Relief Society/Elders Quorum teacher. They are the mom you see at the gym once every other month (not to be confused with the mom who's at the gym everyday. she would be under the Turkey/Veggie option). They will generally clutter their sandwich with all sorts of veggies (yellow peppers, tomatoes, etc.) and sauces, and might even add salt and pepper at the end. They like everything and nothing all at the same time. Generally very indecisive, and always try to branch out to another option, and come back to these: their go-to.

Subway Melt/Roast Beef:
These are very popular options, however, they are a mix of those who are not quite high-society enough for cold cut trio/italian, and those who are not common enough for CBR/Steak & Cheese. Those who like the subway melt are the types that also enjoy intramural/city league sports events. they enjoy studying. they enjoy elitist events and groups of people, yet could never fare in a dinner party in which the president of the USA is the main guest. people who enjoy these sandwiches are often very immersed in a specific clique/group of people, and seem to think that group is normal, and everything else is abnormal.

Sweet Onion Teriyaki/Tuna:
No one gets these. Ever. I think I had to make each one MAYBE twice in the whole year and a half i worked as a sandwich artist. If you get these, you are weird. kidding, but seriously....

now the real question comes: what type of sandwich do you buy??

WOW is MOM upside down

2010-11-09T11:19:00.002-07:00

"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity." --Margaret D. Nadauld

at my graduation

trouble....

what, you don't model your shoulder pads??

As my mom read me this quote the other night, I couldn't help but think that it exemplified and personified my mother to the "t." She has always had her priorities in the right place, and has done a good job of teaching me the things that are most important: faith, virtue, and refinement. Yes, I have a long way to go before I reach the point to where my mamasita has, but I love her for her example she is to me.

Happy Birthday, mamita!
xoxo

i am a sneaky dating ninja

2010-11-06T22:11:00.011-07:00

so i'm pretty sneaky...
like all the time...
but i'm especially sneaky when it comes to boys.

here's the thing. i may be giving my secrets out all in one post, but maybe, just maybe, if i've ever done this to you, you can feel very flattered.

the eternal (well, hopefully not eternal) dilemma is how to keep the conversation going with guys you're digging between dates, between the weekend, and especially if you're juggling a few boys *aghem* between every other weekend!

so here's my trick. ready?? sending a "random" or "accidental" text message.

works.every.time.

here are a few examples of perfect texts to get the conversation going:
1. "hey i'm here!" or "here!" or "come out!"
a. follow up a few seconds later (this part is optional): "oops"
2. "hey it was great seeing you at the party! let's hang out again soon!" <--this one cracks me up every time
3. making something up. for example, if a guy you're into is into BMW M6s, then say something like "hey i'm totally driving right behind an M6 right now!"
4. another great make-up text: "hey i just saw insert name here. they said hi!"

sound ridiculous? maybe. but after a few confession sessions, i realize more girls do it than you know.
after all, the key is to make the guy think it's his idea, right?? :)

microwaves zuck

2010-11-04T22:11:00.004-07:00

i've recently learned a few things about myself.

1. i dislike microwaves
2. microwaves dislike me

here's the thing. i've never really had good luck with those dumb things. honestly, though, i'll probably live longer than all you people who stand in front of them while nuking your food into oblivion. want a few examples as to why we don't get along??

one time when i was still in elementary school, i was asked to warm up the mashed potatoes after being handed a nice large bowl straight from the refrigerator. me being the obedient child i was, i stuck the whole thing in (tin foil and all). well, after practically blowing up my whole house, i was told tin foil and microwaves don't get along.

fast forward a few years later (high school), and i stuck in a bowl of oatmeal, spoon and all. again, after almost blowing up the whole house, i was told silverware didn't belong in those devil machines.

***interjection: why couldn't anyone be more specific with me and tell me metal and death machines don't get along????

well, i lived a pretty harmless microwave-free life throughout my college life (and i seriously survived on those things with endless herbal tea and lean cuisines!), and this last summer was the start of my microwave woes.

i was totally into laying out in my backyard this summer, so to cool myself off from the awful desert heat, i froze a few caprisuns. well, to get the melting process going, i decided upon sticking the caprisun into the microwave with papertowel wrapped around it. needless to say the stupid thing caught on fire, and i almost died.

okay not really.

but seriously! now, in my defense, lean cuisines (which as i mentioned before were the only reason i didn't die of malnourishment in college) have metal-looking things, and i figured THEY didn't blow up, so neither would my caprisun! WRONG!

anyhoo, fast forward to my mom teaching me the "easiest way to cook an egg in the whole entire world." i went home in July, and she showed me the most ideal way to cook an egg: in the microwave. i simply had to stick a little dab of butter at the bottom of a mug, plop a raw egg in it, and stick it in the microwave for an alloted amount of time. she showed me at home, and it seemed simple enough. nothing too drastic could happen in a THREE STEP PROCESS. nope, my whole mug cracked, and my egg exploded into the galaxy. if it wasn't for gravity, i would have ha to clean up egg particles all throughout draper.

well, my first week of work, i realized i wouldn't have enough time to cook and eat breakfast before going in at the unearthly hour of the morning, so i decided to be brilliant and buy instant oatmeal from costco. best idea i've ever had? not likely. i was trying so hard to impress my new co-workers who are really cool, and we were all chatting in our little break room when i put my water/oatmeal-filled styrofoam bowl into the microwave for appropriate oatmeal making. after some decent small-talk, the microwave informed me it was done cooking my food, and as i opened the stupid machine, a plop of oatmeal fell off onto the carpet.

LOVELY, i thought.

yes, the whole styrofoam plate had melted and oatmeal was all over the microwave. my poor co-workers did a fabulous job of not totally dying laughing at me in the moment, and i tried not to cry haha. now it's funny.

and that, my friends, is why i'll never step near one of those things again. i have come to the conclusion that microwaves do, indeed, zuck. plus, has anyone ever NOT burnt popcorn in the microwave???

grey twilight...

2010-09-20T10:11:00.002-07:00

"far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the grey twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."

-theodore roosevelt

(picture by my favorite rodney smith)

adversity

2010-09-17T10:11:00.002-07:00

my adversity doesn't define me.

we all go through things, and it doesn't matter the specifics, because whatever it is, it's hard to us. it may be lack of health, money, love, comfort, clothes, or whatever. either way, it's difficult to us, and that's all that matters.

the real thing that we have to learn is this: no matter what our adversity may be, it doesn't make us who we are. it makes us into who we are supposed to become, by the way we react to it.

...and somehow it all becomes okay when i think about

1. who i will become through all of this

2. who i can potentially help and comfort in the future because of all of this

3. what i can learn from this so i can hopefully avoid it, or react better in the future

4. all of the things i've been blessed with

suddenly what seemed like a sunset becomes a sunrise

(picture from puerto plata, dominican republic)

crowd surfing life

2010-09-13T22:11:00.001-07:00

sometimes we just have to crowd surf through a period of our lives.

i don't know if you've ever crowd surfed, but let me tell you if you haven't, everyone has to try it once. it's awesome....

but i digress. i feel lately like i've been completely crowd surfing life, my entire being upheld and pushed forward by those around me who i love, or even who i may not know. people have listened to my relentless stories and drama. random strangers have given me kind hugs and smiles and even gift cards when i've needed it the most. people have cried with me. my best friends have sent me picture text messages to cheer me up. they've sent me messages to make me feel loved. they've talked to me on the phone from: new york, DC, new jersey, california, and virginia. not to mention my parents who are beyond incredible.

okay, now this is starting to sound like an acceptance speech.

but i want you to visualize all of the people who have figuratively "held me up" and literally pushed me forward.....crowd surfing life. i've always been extremely independent, but i've realized that sometimes it's ok to not be ok. it's fine if we need to talk, and it's perfectly normal if we cry. you know why? because sometimes we're the crowd, and sometimes we're the surfer.

made for another world...

2010-09-11T10:11:00.001-07:00

(loved this mountain in otavalo, ecuador with the giant heart on the side...both pics from otavalo)

"if i find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that i was made for another world."

-c.s. lewis

brook 2.0

2010-09-08T22:11:00.001-07:00

this post wont be a lovely quote and picture,
nor will it be lovely.
it wont be my thoughts on life and how i feel about love;
it will paint a (long) picture of my life since january.

----------------------------------------

i had been feeling unsettled at my job for a while when this last november rolled along. several things lead to my sentiments including: dishonesty with the ALA leadership, some bossy co-workers, and frankly being overworked and underpaid didn't help the situation. november 9th (i remember because it was my mom's birthday) rolled in, and i stumbled across an incredible opportunity as a country director with HELP international. the applications were due that day at 5pm, and needless to say, i didn't work one second while at work trying to get the extensive application in. one thing lead to another, and i got the second group interview that consisted of rigorous training and discussions over a weekend-long retreat situation. january came and went, and i found out i got the job. i was going to work overseas in belize, and then i got moved to el salvador, but anyone who knows me there are two things that make me burn in life: traveling and humanitarian projects. it's my calling in life. i'm thoroughly addicted, and this project gave me the three things i wanted: out of my job, out of the country, and into poverty.

well, after a few trainings, i realized it wasn't what i was supposed to do for one reason or another. i wanted nothing more than to do it, but had the distinct impression that something terrible would happen if i were to go. reluctantly (seriously, i bawled for a week straight), i called the organization up to let them know i had to step down. understandably, they were upset, but it was the best for me. luckily, i hadn't told my current bosses about the job, and everything at work went along unscathed.

v-day came, and i had a strong feeling that i needed to go to chile, and soon. after a day or two of mulling it over, i bought a ticket for the second week in march. the earthquake in haiti happened. then the huge earthquake in chile happened the first week in march. i was devastated, panicked, amazed, grateful, and knew without a doubt when that happened that there is a God watching over all of us. the day before i was to leave the united states, the santiago airport opened for international flights, and i made my way down to a whole country in shock.

needless to say, it was one of the most emotionally draining trips i've ever experienced. however, it shaped me in says i could never even begin to describe to anyone, nor would i want to because of how personal it was. it was beautiful, magnificent, and it seared my most personal being. it was what was the best for me.

thankfully april came without too much trauma (i don't think i could have taken anything else at that time), although a great change in my life: i joined in with an incredible company and business, and decided to take the opportunity down to south america. may passed with only one huge hiccup: the burning desire to quit my job.

the more i thought about it, the more i realized they were getting away with some seriously dishonest practices, and i didn't want to be a part of it. i was also quickly becoming burnt out, and felt that i would be taken care of if i quit. i decided to apply to two graduate schools last minute (thankfully, i had already taken the GRE in december). i applied, and got accepted to both. i got what i wanted: the ticket out of utah and my job. it was the best for me.

june: i went to talk to one of my bosses to tell her i was quitting, and she offered a counter proposal with everything that would ease the problems that i was having with my job. i was happy with it, and decided to defer my two acceptances for another year so i could save, and gain more experience. it needed to go through several approval processes, and she would inform me in the coming months before the end of the current contract (aug 31st). it was my answer. it was the best thing for me. not a week later, i found out that i almost lost someone that means the world to me, and i spiraled into a mini melt-down.

july came and went. august came, and no word about the job, until the middle of the month. things didn't turn out the way they had been discussed, a few things went down, and before i knew it (after politely declining and asking the job to remain as-is), i was without a job (the details are sticky and complicated). i had 15 days until i was going to be: jobless and homeless (not to mention familyless--they're in california & boyless--that's another story for another time).

at this point in time, i was doing a really good job at feeling extremely sorry for myself and my series of circumstances over the last few months. i had completely shunned my emotional support, and had slowly started to become someone that i never was: unhappy. i had had some difficult things happen to me throughout my life that shaped me drastically and threw me into a completely direction. i had had serious heartache in my life. i had had defining moments, but nothing like this all at once, for 8 months in a row.

then i learned something: i am nothing without adversity, and my adversity is nothing if i do it by myself. i feel like i've turned into a brook 2.0 after peeling off several crusty onion layers of pride....

i'm happy to report that i have a temporary place to live, and i've found an incredible blessing of a job. i am not suddenly happy, but i am more than anything hopeful for the future. i know that each of those things that happened were because they have changed my life deeper and more profoundly than i could ever change my own life.

and that's enough for tonight.
xoxo

and since we've been talking about love....

2010-08-13T10:11:00.001-07:00

xoxo
brookie

speak louder than the words before you

2010-08-10T22:11:00.004-07:00

"...and give them meaning

no one else has found

say everything you've always wanted

be not afraid of who you really are....

and i would give the world to you."

whilst chatting it up at the latest local hang out (yogurt stop--it's embarrassing how addicted i am), we were talking about which youtube vids we watch almost every day. well, this is mine.

it inspires me. it uplifts me. it makes me smile. and it gives me courage.

xoxo

brookie
ps. is that a real dog in the video??? i've wondered that for all 8 months i've watched this vid. it's practically a horse!!

social media

2010-08-08T10:11:00.002-07:00

unlocking the awesome potential of behavioral disorders:

oh, btw follow me on twitter

friend me on facebrook and foursquare

from despair

loooove!

2010-08-06T10:11:00.001-07:00

recently, i've had this little debate going on inside my head with myself. although, i guess if it's inside my head, who else would it be with?? uhhh...anyways

what is love?

does it really exist? is it something that we can all hope to find? and does it last?

now, some may argue that i may be jaded, or bitter, but trust me when i'm say i'm definitely not either of those. i just feel that it's something that everyone should question (like whether or not you believe in a higher being or Heavenly Father), and really i'd rather question it now while i'm not in any sort of committed relationship.

background:

i used to be really cheesy. like really really cheesy. i've told two boys i love them. i also used to be a crusader for love. like so badly that my profile on here says "i think the world needs more love." but that's the thing. the more i thought about the first boy i told i loved, the more i realize that i didn't really love him. i probably said it back, because that's what girls do. that's just the next step in the progression of life, and if you don't love someone there's is something really wrong with you.

the second boy i told that i loved him, i actually seriously considered spending eternity with the kid. funny how i remember feeling that when we broke up, that i would never feel anything again. it was sort of this feeling of numbness that i had, and i felt that nothing could ever stir up emotions inside me again. i thought that i was a lost calloused soul for life and that nothing could make me more terribly happy than when i was with him, and nothing could make me more terribly sad than when we broke up. boy was i wrong.

and that's where my questioning came into place. i figure, if i had told both of those boys (and countless friends and family) that i love them, but somehow i don't love them anymore, does that mean that love does not exist? does that mean that it is just a hormonal imbalance where we trick ourselves into being in love just so we can get married or just so that we can feel close to someone? can't we feel close without saying "i love you?" didn't the Savior admonish us to love people? how can we do so if it's not real?

i have drawn my conclusion. but really, i want to hear what you think first.
so i'll leave my conclusions on love for a later post. for now, here's a new favorite song:

my turf

2010-08-04T10:11:00.004-07:00

since my definition would sound too white for this type of dance....here's the definition according to urban dictionary:

"Controlled movements like popping (struttin) but with a more fluid movements and not as precise as poppin. Turfin started in Oakland, Ca. Oakland has a long history of poppin (such as the Oakland Street Poppers etc) and have been doin it for a long time. When you see "Turfin" one can't help but see the popping influences (mixed with a little bayness like poppin collars and the general swagger baydestrians tend to have) and the general bay surroundings. Since the west coast basically perfected popping, it was only natural for similar derivatives to come out. It is a natural evolution from it's b-boying roots to it's mainstream popularity today. Elementary to high school students to twenty-somethings are turfin and it's has since become the dance of the bay area. Lots of folks have been doing this type of dancing, but just recently it's been given a title."

and here is the illest video i've found of turfing so far. the dancing starts around 1:15. get ready to have your mind blown away.

xoxo
your utah baydestrian

you'll never need more

2010-08-01T22:11:00.001-07:00

"and you think you'll be happy if granted one more wish, but the truth is, you'll never need more than this"

-my dearest soul sista vanessa carlton

this sort of goes back to my life lessons from the hubble #1 but it has really been something i've been thinking about a lot lately. it's sort of a family joke, where a lot of us were "born on rollerskates. i get antsy staying put for one place too long. i get discouraged and move on if i don't get the wanted response from boys i'm digging. i had a different job just about every year in college. all of those things have changed recently, as i've been in the same house for two years, i've had the same job for two years, and i've become much more patient with dating.

here's the thing. if we have this mentality, we'll never be happy with where we currently are! how selfish and ungrateful of us to not appreciate everything that we've been given. my bishop pointed out this sunday, on a day i was feeling particularly hard on myself, that we need to look around us. just open your eyes and see beyond your own nose. be grateful that you have a nose and eyes first of all. be grateful that you have a fairly healthy beautiful, miraculous body and mind. be grateful that you, unlike most of the world, know how to read. most of you are probably reading this on a personal computer (whether it's our own at home or your own at work makes no difference. in fact, if you have both of those, consider yourself fortunate). there are so many things that i often forget to remind myself that in fact, i'll never need more than this--except for more gratitude, patience, and love.

i remember one particular situation that really impacted my life. i went to the dominican republic in 2006, and my life has never been the same since. i saw some terrible and beautiful things in that short summer that have forever been seared into my heart and mind. i remember, however, one of the first days after we started having children come to the summer camp, this girl noticed that i not only had different pants on, but different shoes as well. she then pointed out to me that she had bought her first pair of shoes ever just for the summer camp. she was 6 years old. best part? she was probably one of the happiest little girls in her class. the picture above is a picture i took on my disposal of some kids that lived in a dug out of a baseball field, and as you can see clothes were not a necessity.

maybe we think we'll be happy if we just have that "one more thing..." but maybe we wont.

need a backbone??

2010-07-30T22:11:00.002-07:00

then buy a pair:

but seriously....my two favorite things combined in one?? anatomy + awesome shoes = brook heaven.

Life lessons learned from the Hubble #4:

2010-07-29T10:11:00.001-07:00

I want to name my first-born female child Nebula.

no, really.

Life lessons from the Hubble #3:

2010-07-26T11:12:00.001-07:00

who knew space travel was difficult?

i mean, i've always heard references to being or not being a "rocket scientist" but i always figured that only included those that MAKE the not-so-little suckers. well, apparently being the person who flies up in the rocket (i guess they're called astronauts? haha) also takes a lot of time, preparation, perseverance, and ultimately determination.

at the very beginning of the film, one of the astronauts that's about to embark on the epic and important voyage says,

"the advice i'd give my children? if something's hard, it's worth it. go do it."

this came to me at a moment where i was making a lot of decisions. whether or not to quit my job. whether or not to go to school. whether or not to up and move to somewhere where the culture is a little more normal, and the weather isn't awfully cold 10 months out of the year. whether or not to move to a beach town and become a yoga instructor or a mailwoman. whether or not to crawl into a hole and hybernate the rest of my life whilst watching youtube clips and stalking people on facebrook.

i started thinking about the most rewarding times of my life: my freshman year in H.S. (i was taking dance, on the dance team, playing field hockey, and taking a bunch of ridiculous classes), my freshman year in college (break ups, lots and lots of hospital visits, homesickness), when i went to the dominican republic to work for a summer, this past january, etc. i realized that yes, those times when i grew the most, learned about myself, and made the hardest decisions were so worth it. they are the times i look back on with fondness, and i wouldn't trade 'em for the world.

so, i took a good look at my options for the upcoming year, and decided that i needn't pansy out. if it's hard, it will be worth it in the end for one reason or another. and that's just a fact.

Why I have the best friends ever

2010-07-21T22:11:00.001-07:00

and since i posted that last vid.....and girls seem to need to tell each other how much they love each other and how great of friends they are, here are some priceless quotes from my guy and girl friends lately:

1. After relating the most hilarious story on the face of earth, I received this sound adivce: "So, my advice, Brookie, is never wear star trek clothing outside of your house. Stick to your asthma t-shirts."

2. The best description of a creepster that walked into a novelty store (you can almost smell him): "This one didn't smile as much (in reference to another creepster that frequents the novelty shop). He was pretty bad. Slightly overweight with a weird slouch. Big, squareish 80's computer geek glasses, arms that seemed rigid, stationary at his sides as he walked, an uncomfortable stare, and, oddly, bleached hair. I didn't hear him say a word, and he wandered around the store, appraising novelties as a wine connoisseur examines a vineyard's latest batch, holing it up to the light, getting a feel for its color and bouquet, analyzing texture, quality, and sheen. While it's unlikely that he'll eclipse king creeper at the top of the creep food chain, he's formidable..."

3. "Yoga not only is healthy for your body and mind...but also for lame 'relationships.' " (yoga was a great excuse to get out of a lame hang-out)

4. Liz I'd put your epic one on here, but it'd give away all of my secrets...maybe in a year or so :)

Wanna split an ice cube or something?

2010-07-19T22:11:00.002-07:00

stumbled across this and probably watched it like five times already......

unfortunately, it's a little too true (although i'd probably change the show to the bachelor/ette)

"what does she think about it and how does she feel

about the way she thinks about it?"

"i digested a huge gust of wind on the way to work" hahahahha

xoxo

Life lessons from the Hubble #2

2010-07-17T10:11:00.006-07:00

okay, so these posts about the Hubble have coincided with my privilege of going to Asthma Camp (yes, asthma camp, the biggest oxymoron ever). i was only there for three of the days, but one of the nights, they had a "star party," and i think i'm officially going to become a star nerd. i learned about asterisms, constellations, how to find the north star (i knew how to find the big and little dipper, who knew it was right before me the whole time??), about how some constellations came to be, and that much like there are 88 keys on a piano, there are 88 constellations total. we got to see venus, the moon, and saturn with its rings, along with the boyscout stars, and a nebula!!

nerdy? probably. awesome? yes. my next purchase may or may not be "the stars" by h. a. rey (he also wrote curious george so it's legit) and i might have gotten a "star party" schedule. star groupie? yes, please. maybe i'll even make a t-shirt.

so i'm sure you're all dying to know why there is a picture of a screw at the top of this post? i'll bet the anticipation is just killing you and you don't even know what to do with yourself. well, here's the story behind that.

the latest NASA Hubble repair mission (it was just a few months ago!) involved fixing a bunch of things so that it can be in orbit for just a few more years. they fixed lenses and replaced parts that had been there since they launched it in the 80's. this, of course, caused some great problems because they had been in negative a zillion degree outer space weather for about 20 plus years, and had not been moved once since they had been launched. one of the tasks involved taking out 32 very small (and i mean really really small) screws from a part, to replace it with a newer 2010 version. all of this had to be done while floating in freezing cold space, going a few hundred miles per hour, and being held on only by a clip on the astronaut's space boot while trying not to puncture himself with the screwdriver because if he did he's die of space air.

they had a semi-difficult time finding the screws, but even harder time releasing them from their lock, and even getting the screwdriver into the little holes on top to take them out. it took him no less than a few hours to take out the 32 screws (the sun rises and sets every 45 minutes or something like that in space, so that was also difficult), but what he said about the experience was what struck me as life lesson #2:

"i knew that i could do it because we had practiced so many times at home (they have a life-sized replica, and practice it in a giant pool to get the similar zero-gravity effect). i just took a zen approach, and focused on taking out one screw at a time."

wow! that hit me like a ton of bricks.

a) he knew he could do it because he had practiced so many times. here's what i think. i think that we need to give ourselves more credit. we can do SO many things that we don't think we are capable of! i feel like so many of our life's experiences are what give us "practice" and we need not sweat it. we can do it!

on the flip side, the more we practice doing things, the better we become at them. i have recently realized that traits that i so desire (to be more loving of everyone, more patient, be in better shape) come easier when i practice them. soon, they will become second nature.

b) he just focused on one screw at a time until he finished all 32. this kind of goes back to the last post, but man, do i need to just take one thing at a time. focus on the here and now. take a "zen approach" to life, and work one undoing one screw at a time.

hope that was helpful to you!

xoxo

Life lessons from the Hubble #1

2010-07-15T22:11:00.001-07:00

[this is called a nebula, and it is a star FORMING!! --real picture from the hubble telescope]

we have this lovely little place here in salt lake called the clark planetarium. let me tell you, i have fond memories of this place (some mind-blowing dates with incredible boys, cousin date with my two little girl cousins, college trips to get out of provo, etc.), but that's beside the point. recently, they had an IMAX 3-D movie (yes, both!) about the Hubble Telescope. narrated by leonardo dicaprio (i mean that should be reason alone to watch it!), the short flick covered the history of the hubble, how it almost died and went out of existence, a few repair missions, but the centered around the latest repair mission in april of this last year, and the incredible things this telescope has been able to do for us.

now, i may or may not have gone to watch this movie three times total, and may have cried two out of the three because: a) what a magnificent universe we live in, b) technology is amazing, c) God is amazing. i learned more in the brief 45 minutes of the flick than i have in a long time, and have a zillion life lessons to share with you from it!

when the movie is ending, leo says,

"it has been said that in discovering the moon, we discovered our earth."

he went on to talk about how we're always searching for other bigger and better things. we as humans want to explore things we have not explored yet, discover something that we've never seen before. yet, after all of this searching, discovering, and knowledge that we've gained through the hubble, we have yet to discover a place that loves us and protects us as perfectly as our earth does. perfect climate. perfect ozone layer. perfect balance of elements. coincidence? you tell me.

this led me to think about my life, though. maybe i'm on the search for a better job, better house, better climate to live in (the snow/cold kills me), better people to date, etc. when in reality, maybe it's all right under my nose? maybe i just need to appreciate the things that i have in the moment that i have them. maybe i need to learn to savor the moment, savor my perfect circumstances that have all collided into creating who i am becoming--not accidentally, may i include. now, i'm definitely not saying that you have to stay stagnant and accept all situations that we put ourselves in and are put in. that would mean no progression, which would be ridiculous. all i am saying is that there needs to be a balance, and for me, a little more gratitude.

just a little food for thought

xoxo

Free hugs!

2010-07-13T10:11:00.002-07:00

so my dearest friend Brooke posted this tender little video...

and it reminded me of this angel that came into my life last week. i had a series of heartbreaking things happen all in a row, and had to fly home last-minute. i booked my flight a few hours before it departed, and proceeded to go to the salt lake city airport for my quick journey home.

after our flight had been delayed an hour, we finally boarded the plane (at this time it was about 10pm). no sooner than 30 minutes later, the flight attendants got on the announcer thing, and told us that our pilot had not read his emailing informing him that he had to fly our plane. he had already checked into his hotel for the night, and was under the influence, so we had to wait for another pilot that could come fly us. we had to de-board the plane and wait for our other pilot, whose flight ended up being delayed, and in the end we couldn't fly into san jose because of curfew rules.

i was completely disappointed and distraught and felt like i had failed in my mission of getting home.

all of these feelings washed over me like never before as i was all alone in the airport, and i just sat there and bawled like i hadn't in a long time. this adorable, jolly, tender woman spotted me, and i noticed her creeping closer and closer. she pretended like she was looking at a sign that was by me. then she sat a few chairs away from me, and next thing i knew, she was right next to me giving me the biggest most needed hug i have ever had in my whole entire life. she just hugged me and let me cry on her shoulder, and told me it would all be okay.

i have no idea what her name is, where she was from, or where she was going, but i know she was in the right place at the right time, but more importantly--she followed her instinct. guys! get out there and hug a stranger (not in a creepy way, of course)!

i love me a good hug, a tender back scratch, or even a little squeeze of the hand. we all need it sometimes, no matter how tough you may think someone is.

ps. don't worry--everything's okay now :)

call me scrooge...

2010-07-12T10:11:00.002-07:00

[insert beautifully centered picture of an "echo" here]
[i googled images of "echo" and hated all of them. what does an echo look like to me? maybe a giant war-era concert hall that was once filled with gorgeous crystal dresses and brightly colored red lipstick, but is now filled with dust and only streaming light from the outside. melodramatic enough??]

well, it's been almost three months since i've posted anything, and i honestly feel a complete void in my life. i do, however, have some very incredible reasons as to why i haven't posted, and that's one thing: i became serious. and quite boring. i've had some recent "awakenings" if you will, and feel like i must share them with the world. standing on my little rooftop, screaming my little red-headed heart out, and maybe hoping i'll hear more than an echo as a response.

christmas came and went.

new years came and went.
then april never existed.
then may=craziest time of my life ever (i turned 24, and i took a two-week rape crisis class--will explain later).
then june never happened.
i soaked up the fourth like water in the desert.
and now we're beyond half way through the year.

what in the world??

quick interjection:
why do i always feel like i'm apologizing to my imaginary internet friends??
back to my post...

in all honesty, however, i will explain my issue. i've always known that i am a deep thinker. i often find myself enjoying deep thoughts about life, the universe, why people act and are the way they are, etc. and more importantly why i do the things that i do. what motivates me? what moves me? where does all of my time go to? and why am i not living the potential that i should be?

well, here i go elaborating on one thing at a time. just you wait. i may not be as hilarious as i always am. or maybe i'll surprise myself?

the title of this post comes from my dislike of christmas. get ready.
xoxo

dear brook, from tomorrow brook

2010-04-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

as so often occurs in my daily life, i check my email after hours. this, of course, occurs in the comfort of my own sweatpants and crazy hair, but nonetheless has made itself a habitual action in my dull life.

today, i decided to check my email as i had a few very important ones that i was expecting to show up. to my surprise, i found that i had received messages from the future! yes, the future in fact had contact me in the form of electronic mail, and i couldn't have been happier. here is proof (and yes, i send myself emails):

this did, however, cause me to think a little about what tomorrow's brook really would say to today's brook. maybe something along the lines of...

get enough sleep. i don't want to drag all day!
you'll be over him in the morning. soooo not worth the overanalyzing and headache and boring your parents and friends to tears about every single detail.
please exercise!! because you know it's not going to happen today! (saturday/sunday brook is almost always busier than week-day brook)
accomplish something worthwhile, you slacker!
hey soul sisteeeeer la la la....(okay tomorrow brook probably wouldn't say that to today brook but LOVEEE that song!)

so i guess what i'm trying to say is maybe think about what you wish to accomplish today, and then just do it! there are some things that we may not have control over, but we do have control over most every thing else....

"You pile up enough tomorrows,

and you’ll find you’ve collected a lot of empty yesterdays"

I FORGOT ABOUT HER FACE.....

2010-04-22T22:42:00.003-07:00

no, the title isn't a reference to how you feel about me.

i know, i know, i've been the worst blogger ever in the planet of bad bloggers.

but here's why:

1. christmas happened. our family has issues with christmas--bad bad christmas history. maybe i'll elaborate in another post.

2. i got really enthralled in a project that consumed all of my january and then i quit. elaborating will also take place later.

3. then february happened. i think february is the most.depressing.month.ever. (no, it has nothing to do with v-day...i actually love vday)

4. i have some hilarious dating stories. i also have some single people stories along with work stories, draper stories, church stories, more dating stories, and just brook's funny life stories. but most involve other people. and some of those other people read this blog, and wouldn't appreciate being talked about probably.

5. i've determined to start blogging consistently again. although, i've been doing some seriously deep thinking lately so maybe expect some serious posts.

6. why is this SNL actress SO STINKING HILARIOUS???? watch, and fall in love:

xoxoxo

am i normal??

2009-12-16T23:11:00.002-07:00

so, lately i've been remembering my favorite parts about growing up in a super liberal, cultural, crazy, smart area. in talking with my co-workers and friends, one of the biggest striking differences between there and utah, where i now reside, is that here, white people are a majority. okay, just kidding. really, one of the huge differences is the sex ed program that we endured and learned from in the great public school system in california.

one of the most traumatizing of those experiences (yes, more traumatizing than seeing a woman give birth, using bananas in inappropriate ways, and another story that i will tell in the future) was the wonderful musical gem called "Nightmare on Puberty Street." yes, you read that correctly. it was a musical. and it was called "Nightmare on Puberty Street." we were all forced to watch this tony-award winning (no, it didn't win a tony) musical in jr. high, and all sevies and eighth graders had to sit and watch it together. now, mind you, this was during the time where i had a crush on like 11 boys at a time and was writing them notes that said something along the lines of "do you like me? check yes or no" (apparently not much has changed). anyhoo, after this enlightening musical, i wanted nothing to do with any of the 11 boys as i was seriously terrified about what was going on in their heads (sounded like some scary stuff), and most importantly my own well-being.

topics covered during the two-day blush-fest included ones that i still feel silly and inappropriate talking about, but the most important subject and song that still resonates in my head today is one called "am i normal." this classic line ended up being a joke that we still use to this day (right, carissa??). upon googling it, i found out that even though the melody has become much more hip (it used to resemble something more like lion king--now it sounds more like a good version of eminem), the words and lyrics are still the same.

and now for a musical snack beyond any you've ever encountered: Normal (either click on this link, or on the player down below).

i'm yours....

2009-12-15T21:09:00.001-07:00

no, really.

this kid (and his itchy nose) has stolen my heart.

xoxo

how NOT to score a wife 101

2009-12-08T11:11:00.001-07:00

dear males,

if you intend on marrying someone, please do not mimic the following story that I had the "privilege" of experiencing. girls do not like tools. thanks!

xoxo

brookie*

___________________________

Once upon a time, there was a single girl that people set up on blind dates. People that would set her up on these blind dates did not think anything through. Either that or they didn't have a high opinion of her. She would be set up with boys because she was a single girl living in Utah, and people knew a single boy who lived in Utah, without any consideration for other important things. But that is beside the point.

This one particular instance, she was being set up on a blind date with a boy we'll call snowboarder. Snowboarder was, well, a snowboarder. He thought he was really cool and as the evening progressed, single girl slowly discovered that snowboarder wasn't in fact cool. When he first picked her up from her house, he seemed like a kind, attractive young man, but unfortunately his "true colors" were about to manifest themselves.

Upon seating themselves in the car (don't worry, he didn't open the door for her--something that she had come to expect after dating a boy for five months who opened her door for all five months....and then some), they decided upon eating at a Thai restaurant that neither had eaten at before. Both enjoyed good food, and decided to be adventurous. Conversation was small talk, as it should be within the first 10 minutes of meeting someone. It took a suddenly drastic turn.

As soon as they were seated at the quaint restaurant, snowboarder asked her what sort of things she likes to do for fun. After answering cordially, she returned the question, and snowboarded proceeded to talk about him self for the remainder of the time. It was soon discovered that he loved to do some very unique things, including "beating the *insert curse word that starts in "s" here* out of dudes" while fighting, and "kicking *insert "a" word here*" on the slopes. I'm surprised, er, SHE was surprised he didn't mention loving to talk about himself.....While he went on an on using his impressive vocabulary, the waitress returned to ask how their food was tasking. After a few deep, dramatic breaths, he turned to their adorable Thai waitress, and said to her something along the lines of "are you serious? can't you see we're talking here??" Thoroughly embarrassed, single girl apologized to the waitress, told her the food (and not the company) was exquisite, and thank you very much.

After a long conversation, it was finally time to leave, and single girl couldn't wait to be away from the company of snowboarder. When snowboarder passed her freeway exit, she questioned what he was doing, and he said they would be going on a romantic drive up Alpine Loop, as he was "feelin' it." Appalled, single girl asked snowboarder to get off at the next exit, and take her home. He obliged, and took her home. Wanting to just get away from the clutches of misery (okay, maybe a little dramatic), she escaped the car as quickly as possible, saying "Thanks," but snowboarder followed her to the door for a doorstep scene. Thinking he was going for a hug, she put her arms out, and his head suddenly dipped to her 5'1'' frame to try and give her a kiss. She shoved her face into his oblique and muttered a quick "thanks" while going inside as quickly as she could. Single girl went inside and told her roommates and parents all about the horrific date she had just experienced, when she received a text message from snowboarder saying "Thanks, I had such a great time. I can't wait until we go out again."

Needless to say, she did not respond to any of the proceeding texts or phone calls. Do you blame her?

how NOT to score a husband 101

2009-12-06T11:11:00.001-07:00

Well, since quite a few of my posts have to do with my singledom, here's another to add to the list. Let's be honest, since I don't have pictures of family events, adorable chubby children with colossal bows that look like they could eat a small child, stories about funny school experiences, or stories about my job that I can tell (TRUST ME-if I could, I would....our office has some classic characters), I will talk about dating. Plus, my friend Liz's blind date stories inspired me to write some of my own. These have potential to be equally funny and awkward.

I met this boy we'll call catering boy (a name affectionately given by my friends) at a nice event, exchanged numbers, and decided upon going out. Now, this should be something known by everyone: I despise talking on the phone more than anything. Talking on the phone makes me more nervous, more anxious, and more uncomfortable than a geeky computer nerd walking into a hip hop underground dance off. Phones and I don't get along. So, after a few text messages with catering boy, and a little "phone tag" (every time I call, I pray that the answering machine will pick up), we finally got a hold of each other. Both of us had just woken up from a nap , and spoke on the phone to figure out the details of the date. Towards the end of the very awkward phone conversation, we were wrapping things up, and amidst my sleepy and uncomfortable self, I ended the conversation in "Okay, love you! Bye!"

WHAT? WHO SAYS THAT??

After I realized the severity of what had just come out of my mouth, I suddenly hung up the phone and proceeded to somewhat have a laugh attack. I yelled down to my roommates, and told them the story among fits of laughter, and realized that my phone was lit up. I looked down at it (it was brand new, and I didn't really know how it worked yet), and realized that it had decided to call catering boy back. Upon further investigation, I realized that he had picked up the phone and was saying "Brook? Hello??" I clearly wasn't thinking clearly, and hung up so I didn't have to face him after confessing my love to him, AND having him hear me recount the embarrassing story to my roommates.

Funniest part: neither of us brought up what happened on the phone during the actual date. Awkward.

SLAP!

2009-12-03T23:11:00.002-07:00

nope, the quote isn't from Dave Chappell...

it's from the Spanish New Moon (and here's how i feel about the non-Spanish New Moon).

The next two videos have brought me great joy the last two weeks as well....part of my great last two weeks.

If you've already seen these, I apologize, as I'm usually a late-comer to hilarious videos.

xoxo,

Brook, CHES (okay, I'm really gonna stop now)

When you wake up...WAKE UP!

2009-12-02T22:49:00.013-07:00

WARNING: this is journal-entry-like, and may or may not contain some bragging.

now that you've been sufficiently warned, i will continue.

the last two (and a half) ish weeks have been a complete explosion of magnificence and my face may just fall off from smiling way way way too much. sadly enough, i can't post a some of the awesomeness on this public forum, as i'm not sure i want everyone to know yet, but i'll share a minor snippet of the moments:

1. i saw imogen heap in concert. let me tell you, she's just as (if not more) brilliant in person. i will dedicate a whole future post to my love for her, so no worries about that.

2. RSL won the Eastern Conference Finals (in over-over-over-over time). No I am not a fair weather fan. I've, as a matter of fact, been a fan since May. I also may or may not be a jumbo tron (big screen) regular, making an appearance in the last 7 or 8 games. No big deal.

3. I went home and went through the temple. Absolutely gorgeous experience. Fun to be home with my parents, fun to eat fresh seafood on San Francisco, fun to have 70 degree weather in November (but not fun to go back to Utah and 30 degree weather), and fun to have a good excuse to take pictures.

4. Real Salt Lake won the MLS CUPPPPP!!!!!! (in over-over-over-over time...AGAIN). I have included pictures below to prove my undying and unconditional love for the team (and more specifically, Kyle Beckerman--not to be confused with the over-paid diva, David Beckham). My only beef is now that Utah has a somewhat successful professional team, everyone has jumped onto the band wagon, and those that have been fans for the whole season (through thick and thin) have to suffer for over-crowded lines for signatures, and over-priced tickets. I, however, never lost faith.

5. BYU WON!!!!!! (in over time) Go cougs!

6. I got an ulcer from all of the over-time winning games.

7. I found out that I passed my CHES exam, and will now be signing all important things

(including this blog) as "Brook, CHES." Okay, that's ridiculous, but I'm really excited about

having passed with flying colors (even IF I didn't beat my boss' score and my other boss has no idea what a CHES is).

Now, if you know where the title of this blog post comes from, i will give you a big treat (no seriously, i will!). that song has become my anthem, because although the last few weeks have been INCREDIBLE, they haven't been without hardship or trial (but who wants to revel in those??). These instances have in fact been my "tender mercies" and what has kept me smiling and going (besides you all, of course).

Well, i guess that's all for now.

xoxo,

Brook, CHES (just kidding. kind of.)

Signs

2009-11-20T11:11:00.001-07:00

(from here)

what more could you ask for??

now get out and do what you've been debating....

love someone more fully

go back to school

ask for forgiveness from someone you've wronged

go learn something: photography, dance, voice lessons, etc.

mormon.org

2009-11-17T23:11:00.002-07:00

Within my job, and more importantly among my some of my favorite things to do, I learn about social media and how to utilize it for businesses, non profits, and spreading health information. To me it is quite fascinating and growing exponentially from day to day. New groups of people are taking up texting, facebook, blogs, and the internet in general. Most organizations, when trying to market their "product," attempt to get a celebrity to market whatever it is, whether it is getting flu shots (Utah Flu Fighters), or selling perfumes. Amongst all this learning and searching for good examples, etc., the one thing has impressed me the most is: the mormon.org Web site.

The LDS church has taken up twitter, facebook, Web sites, youtube, etc. and within all of this social marketing and social media, no celebrities are involved in "promoting" the "product." What they have instead, are ordinary people's true stories of conversion. Each one is thoroughly touching, and attests to different facets of the gospel and invaluable principles in which I believe. Go check it out...

psychological anatomy

2009-11-14T23:11:00.003-07:00

"never grow a wishbone

where your backbone ought to be"

-cynthia paddleford

This has recently become what I live by. I find myself often wishing I had said something to someone to express the way I really felt. I find myself wishing that I had had the guts to go somewhere, to do something, and more importantly to give someone a chance. I have now decided to grow a backbone (although there's really no such thing--it's lots of bones that make up a back, but that's just a formality).

(picture taken of dearest hannah in ecuador)

can i get an amen?

2009-11-12T11:11:00.005-07:00

"There is a sacredness in tears.

They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.

They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.

They are messengers of overwhelming grief…

and unspeakable love."

-Washington Irving

picture from le love

Vivianita

2009-11-09T11:11:00.003-07:00

Mamita,

You are absolutely incredible. Thanks for being an example of virtue, integrity, honesty, beauty, love, for encouraging me in my ridiculous persuits, for taking me seriously when sometimes no one else does, for teaching me how to attempt to be crafty (you're way better than i am!!), for always teaching me to study, to read, to love to learn, to love the gospel, and to love others. Today, I am celebrating your life, as you have almost been taken from me one too many times. Love you tons. Happy bday.

xoxo

Brookie Baby, Pumpkin, Sweetie (all names my mother affectionately calls me)

ps. picture line up: my mom sends me love notes via pictues, the second one is not my mother, but me with an amazing quilt she made me for my 21st!!, and the last clip is about the women in our lives. i loveeeee it.

Which one of these is not like the others?

2009-11-08T11:11:00.002-07:00

all of these are paint....on body parts....

let's see if you can find the one that is unprofessional (shouldn't be too hard)

ps. i LOVE real salt lake!!

pps. pictures from here and here

Lean like a chola

2009-11-06T23:11:00.005-07:00

Halloween has come and gone this year, and I am in complete and utter shock that it is already November.

Anyway, after a week of being sick, I was more than excited to get out and do something fun once my fever had subsided. I figured that since I mark "white" and "hispanic" on all federal forms and previous college applications, that I would go back to my roots for halloween (okay, just for clarification, they don't dress like this in Chile..it's mostly a Mexican tradition). Ladies and gentlemen, I present you the whitest chola you've ever met, and a little musical snack to go along with it:

home

2009-08-21T22:11:00.001-07:00

i'm loving the little "project" that is asking people to submit

what home is to them....

i posted the post card that i think describes me perfectly.

home.........................(for me (now i'm sounding like randy jackson))

-changes every year

-is not defined by any possessions, as each one is completely temporary

-will always remind me of these beauties:

love these souls...

2009-08-18T22:11:00.002-07:00

"You don't have a Soul. You are a Soul. You have a body."

-C. S. Lewis

some pictures are from my travels...some pictures are of family members.

either way, they're all beautiful and i love them to death.

xoxo

dear hope,

2009-08-15T22:11:00.001-07:00

(image via michael totten...apparently these two words are incongruously seen all over the tel aviv)

dear hope,

i have frequently thought about you. i can often feel you at fleeting moments of my life, and can't help but think that you are so misunderstood. yet, you are always there for me when no other emotion can comfort me. you are the last thing i want to lose, nonetheless through your reputation of being someone who "has the deep eyes of someone well aquatinted sorrow, [and] the luminosity of recently being wet with tears," are the last i want to get to know. this beautiful story to me, describes you more than adequately. thank you for all you do.

lovingly,

brookie*

bucket list:

2009-08-10T10:11:00.001-07:00

....someday when i don't have to work and i have money saved up.

1. go to every ballpark in the nation in one summer.

2. go to the kentucky derby and wear huge hats and a summer dress.

3. greece, thailand, spain, prague, fiji. need i say more?

4. see fireworks at the nation's capital.

5. see mount rushmore.

6. dip a foot (or two) in each great lake and the mississippi.

7. dress up in ridiculous 80's prom dresses and go to a non-80's formal event. oh wait, i already did that....

"vampires might live forever...

2009-08-08T22:11:00.004-07:00

....but this offer (<--that's a link) wont."

WOW.

here's another gem from the product description: you have to shake it (<--that's a link too) to represent the "blending of the human and vampire worlds." what if i don't want it to blend? what if i just want to become a vampire, and just "hold on tight spider money" for the rest of my life?? ...but seriously

bring it, vampires, bring it.

please understand how ridiculous i felt while capturing this picture.

another "how to" post

2009-08-06T10:11:00.002-07:00

following some of my other how to posts, i've decided to post another--

how to get a whole entire row to yourself on a southwest flight:

preface: we all know how southwest works, but in case you don't, here's how it goes. everyone gets a letter and a number. i have no idea how either work, but i always seem to get the last letter possible and the last number possible. then, you board according to letter and number, and you get to choose where you sit. usually, couples will sit with one in the aisle and one at the window with all of their very important carry-ons in between them, which, naturally, means "we don't want you sitting here."

and now on to the how to:

1. become ill (i, for example, i had sinusitis, two ear infections, and h1n1).

2. sit right in between one of those couples that are being rude.

3. start coughing incessantly (blowing your nose also helps with dramatic effect) and murmur things to yourself about swine flu, pandemic influenza, and h1n1.

4. take forever to figure out where you're going to leave that dirty tissue you just used (look in the seat pocket in front of you, put it on your lap, etc.).

5. watch the people sitting next to you drop like flies*.

epilogue: the greatest thing about this tactic (especially if you really were sick like myself) is that once the airplane has taken off and people don't move seats anymore, you can stretch out and get the whole row to yourself. sleep, the #1 best medicine, becomes your companion, and the flight is much more enjoyable.

happy flying!

*please keep in mind this was not a selfish act on my part, but i was acting selflessly. i did not want others to get sick, and i did not want others to have to experience my very ornery temperament after traveling for 40 hours straight...(chile to lima to el salvador to LA to two flights being canceled in LA to finally SLC)

full body touching non-cuddling

2009-08-04T10:11:00.002-07:00

i'm going to take a quick break from re-capping the last two-three months hilarious happenings by just stating that these days, all a single girl can ask for is full body touching non-cuddling.

here's how it goes:

1. subject f(emale) and subject m(ale) like each other.

2. subject f thinks that girls shouldn't do all of the work.

3. subject m thinks that guys shouldn't do all of the work.

4. during the day and any group activities a whole lot of hugging and random "behind the elbow" touching...apparently that's a subconscious indicator of attraction

5. then all of a sudden subject f and subject m find themselves in a situation where more than just the during-the-day-and-group activities can occur (although they, at first, still attend group activities....just go to ones where the rest of the group isn't paying attention, ie. movies, walking somewhere during the night, etc.)

6. then, because both subjects feel that it is the other person's responsibility to take charge, absolutely nothing occurs but what i like to call full body touching non-cuddling, or FBTNC for short. this can be described as one complete side of subject f touching the complete side of subject m with some serious electric currents running through the points of contact (again, this goes all the way down from shoulder to ankle), BUTTTT there is no intermingling of subjects occurring. no intertwining arms. no arm behind the head. no hand holding. nothing. whatsoever.

now, i've found myself in this situation several times, and have found others to be in the same position on more than one occasion and think that this needs to be remedied, without subject f having to do all of the work. which, in turn, is the whole basis of the problem.

oh well. the life of a single girl never stops being comical.

picture show...

2009-08-02T10:11:00.004-07:00

well, if you want a summary of our trip, you can read the previous post.

this one will just contain two things--slide shows of ecuador and the galapagos. if you wanna watch them in better quality, click on the vids to take you to the youtube page.

xoxo

Ecuador!!

2009-07-31T22:11:00.003-07:00

and now the moment i know you've all been waiting for:

a quick ecuador recapitulation.

it was, to say the least, amazing, and i am highly considering going with southern cross humanitarian to peru! everyone on the trip was so individual and beautiful in their own way. ecuador was so different than any other country i've been to. i absolutely fell in love with the natives, the weather, the little kids that we tortured with fluoride (they were absolutely ADORABLE!), the old women and men that spoke mostly quichua (wow! church was interesting to attend, and speaking with the moms telling them their kids couldn't eat or drink for 30 minutes was more difficult than i would have thought!), and the traditional clothing. everything was beautiful.

here is the summary written by our fearless leader, cameron:

Ecuador Expedition!
by
Cameron Smyres - Expedition Leader

Arriving in Otavalo, we worked alongside Charity Anywhere and helped serve 1200 people providing medical and dental services. Many people from surrounding communities came to have teeth pulled, have their teeth treated with fluoride and have surgical removal of various skin disorders.

Our group distributed donated items during dental clinics on teeth care, emphasizing the proper use of multivitamins and the basic hygiene kits we brought. We also had many donations of clothing and other basic items we were able to provide.

Another facet of the initial service was to help build a home for an elderly woman in a nearby community and work in an orphanage in Quito run by the Davis Foundation which takes care of over 130 children. We scraped and painted two buildings that truly need it!

While in Quito, we visited the Equator and tried our hands at balancing raw eggs on a nail. Interesting the things you can do on the center line at the middle of the world. Also, we watched the water drain different directions in buckets set on each side of the center line.

When we headed out to the Galapagos we were set for a treat. On the island of Santa Cruz the group spent time enjoying the great climate and atmosphere of the Galapagos Islands. The first day was spent at Tortuga Bay hiking around to see the volcano and swim at the beach. The next day was the Tour to the Floreana where the group hiked and viewed caves and turtles. That afternoon was snorkeling with the sharks in the area where the sharks rest. The next day, on the Bay Tour the group visited the Sea Lion area and swam within feet of the playful groups of sea lions and swam into the center of large schools of fish.

Our whole expedition fell in love with the beauty of Ecuador - the land and especially the people.

Video with pictures soon to come....be excited

WOOOOO

2009-07-30T22:11:00.003-07:00

(gosh i miss ecuador! this is from otavalo's market...)

i absolutely love fresh fruit, local clothing/artisan crafts, and fresh veggies....

and NOWWWWW slc's farmer's market is now going to be on tuesdays too!!

check it out

also, i got to see a free screening of 500 days of summer in sandy, which was FABULOUS.

i'm in love...and will talk about it, and my thoughts on love at a later time.

one more thing. how cool are these buildings??

romantical

2009-07-30T10:11:00.003-07:00

how cute is this commercial?

i'm in love.....

...also love the song (falling in love at a coffee shop)

blooming

2009-07-29T10:11:00.001-07:00

while in ecuador and chile, i was uncharacteristically given flowers on several different occasions. i received 6 different ones in a matter of three weeks, and i loved each and every one for what it looked like, smelled like, and most importantly who gave it to me. i had one from otavalo's mayor's wife, one from a very dear person in my group, one from my beautiful grandma, and several others....

although, each and every time i received one, i couldn't help but think of this quote, which has been my anthem for quite some time:

"and the day came

when the risk to remain

tight in a bud was more painful than

the risk to blossom" -anais nin

here are some of my favorites from the trip.....

all i can say is:

2009-07-28T10:11:00.002-07:00

i. can't. wait.

also...i'm sad these aren't anywhere near utah

walking in the spiderwebs

2009-07-26T22:11:00.004-07:00

i remember the exact day my 10 year-old self heard what i like to call liquid luck. okay not really, but i just watched harry potter so that was on my mind. back on topic...when i heard the most lyrically gifted, most unique, and amazing sounds of gwen stefani and her no doubt crew, i was in love. i was just learning about the "so many different people" they strummed about. i was "in love" with a boy in my class that broke my heart and "don't speak" was my anthem. i couldn't WAIT until i was old enough to have my own cell phone and make "spiderwebs" my answering machine, and then when i turned 16 so i could sing "just a girl." my best friend's older brother introduced me to them (and a million other bands that have been my favorites at one time or another), and i've never looked back. in fact, i've even been gwen stefani for halloween because i love her (and no doubt) that much, and did "don't speak" for a talent show with my dad. yes, i am a SUPERFAN.

so, naturally, i've always wanted to go to one of their concerts, but i wasn't ever old enough, or they never came to the city i was residing in, or their band broke up (i cried when i heard. no joke). when i heard no doubt was coming to utah, i jumped at the opportunity to see my idols LIVE, and let me tell you--they did not disappoint. they played ALL of the classics, did an amazing encore, and we even sang happy birthday to kingston.

here are just some visual (gwen's close-ups taken by my friend allister) and audio snacks from the concert. enjoy them, as i am right now re-living the most amazing experience of my life (okay that may be an exaggeration, but it's pretty high up there). the only thing that could have made it better was to be with my best friend, carissa (it's my life is one of the videos..just for you!), and her brother.

not-so-lonesome george

2009-07-25T22:11:00.002-07:00

one of the highlights of the trip to the galapagos, was seeing lonesome george, and more importantly seeing him in the act of reproduction for the second time ever in his whole entire life! not that seeing that itself was any bit exciting, because to be totally honest it was a little awkward for him (he kept looking over at us!) and for us, but it was history in the making.

apparently this 70-90 year old turtle (estimated to live about 400 years) is the last of its species, and scientists have been attempting for a while to get this picky reptile to mate, with no avail. however, last year, he tried to mate with infertile eggs coming of it. they gave georgey some new mates, and we WITNESSED the action! from that date's happenings, the lady turtle has five new healthy eggs that she had laid, and i was beyond excited. if george has a child from this, as some in our group have concurred, it is due to his cheering section!

here he is (with the second "mate" jealous in the background). go get 'em!

23? WHAT??

2009-07-24T22:11:00.003-07:00

well, i guess i'll work my way forwards from what you've all missed out on, because i know you all care so deeply....

turning 23 was a little depressing, but very fabulous.

let's start on why it's so depressing (i'm a firm believer in bad news first, good news second):

* i had someone tell me "you're 23 and not married! wow, you must feel really bad." that wasn't quite the pick-me-up i was looking for, but whatever. i actually didn't feel bad about not being married, until they said that.

* i had to work. lame, i know, because millions of people have worked on their birthday, BUT there were two people at the office that day, and one was me.

* nothing cool comes with turning 23. i can already smoke, drink, drive, date, get my own insurance, have a job, get a tattoo.

now on why it was so great:

* i had a tennis/golf themed combined birthday party with my roomies, and SO many great friends i haven't seen forever came, which meant the WORLD to me.

* i got to go home the weekend before and see my two bffs: mom and dad.

* my mom gave me the cutest presents ever (maybe in an effort to domesticate me?? haha...). and yes, she MADE the apron. very talented woman, she is.

here are pictures from the glorious event, and the gorge apron and silicone cupcake cups: