Person of the Day: Eunji

well, i'm here in Fiji, which means I have so many more things to talk about and project into the world besides my random life advice/lesson and love advice. lucky for you all, because i'm sure that gets old fast...

i've decided that everywhere i go, my favorite thing about going there usually ends up being the people i meet! the people in the market, the people i work with, live with, and even those who cross my path for only an hour or two via a random happenstance. i've already let too many of those people pass by without sharing their wisdom or hilarity, so i'm going to start posting the 'person of the day.' it's not going to be every day, but just when i feel like it. 

so, for the first one, i have a real gem. she is about the wisest 10 year old you've ever met and is full of wisdom on north korea and africa, her relationship with God, her worries about not crying and homesickness, and most importantly--love. (see, you still get love advice, but this time it's not from me!)

this is Eunji from Seoul, South Korea. she tried to fit into the refrigerator yesterday because a) it was really hot and b) there was a sudden flood of flying larvae that came out of nowhere and she was genuinely terrified. she loves kimchi, soda, and Beyonce, and she might be my favorite person on the planet right now. last night, Hilary (my co-director) and I were talking to her about boys, and here's the invaluable knowledge i acquired. you're welcome.

how to tell if a boy likes you (verbatim):

1. they kiss you here (the lips) and not here (the cheeks).

2. if he hugs you and spends time with you, he 100% likes you.

3. but if he takes you on dates, and he kisses you (or he lets you kiss him!), he one million no, ALL the percents likes you. 

...but don't have a boyfriend because then you have to make them good food, and look too pretty all the time with all the make ups and hairs and high heels, and that's not fun.

more nuggets of advice:

• if a boy is good and he goes to church and he likes you (see above), then you should just marry him. but if you don't know if you should marry him, wait 5 years and you will know.
• it doesn't matter if you're 45 and he is 50, or if you are 50 and he is 30, or if you are 60 and he is 20, love is love!

other advice on global politics and homesickness:

• why does everyone want to fight? i'm so sad because the mean Korea (north Korea) wants to fight and take all the good people who are poor and trick them with promises. they want to get big and get plenty money and not help people who need help. i don't want to do that to poor people. i don't want to fight anybody.
• why do people take all the nice people in Africa and tell them what to do? they just want to live!
• why doesn't Heavenly Father talk back to me? i just want to sit by him and play with him and eat with him and ask him all the questions!
• when i leave Korea, i wanted to cry so bad, but my mom told me not to cry because my papa's heart is too thin. so now i just work hard at my english to make my oma and papa proud.

the fro-yo level

so my cousin sent me this quote because it reminded her of me:

"So needless to say, this is not activity J. Law and I would be doing if/when we became friends. We’d probably just remain on the fro-yo level for a long time.

You know the fro-yo level. The person you call to get fro-yo with you when you feel too ashamed to go alone — yet, crave it so badly that you can’t stand to live another moment with that cold self-serve fro-yo handle in your hand. If you know what I’m talking about, you KNOW what I’m talking about."

apparently it's someone talking about some celebrity picture. but the point is this: i totally have the fro-yo level. although i'm pretty sure i'm at the fro-yo level with every human. the more i thought about it, the more i realized i have a hierarchy of individuals i call on the fro-yo level, and i'd like to expound on this idea.

ladies and gentlemen, i would like to introduce to you the fro-yo level hierarchy of love:

1. the person to call first: roommate. here's the thing. you're not fooling your roommate about your work out or diet plans. they know every single detail usually, and is the most willing to "take one for the team." plus roommates are most easily coerced if you say stuff like "i'll drive" (or if you have any sort of income--aka not me--things like "i'll pay!").

all people hereafter are back-up plans:

2. the friend having a really terrible day. yes, i realize this is terribly unfair, and you am taking full advantage of their vulnerable situation and state. however, they usually always say yes and i promise fro-yo solves all problems.
3. casual school friends/co-workers. these individuals can also be easily coerced by saying "let's swing by after class/work/during lunch/take a break," etc. you don't have to talk about deep things and you're both happy. you can easily fool them into thinking you're normally healthy but this one time you want to splurge.
4. love interest you feel lukewarm about. fro-yo is a good testing ground. which toppings do they get? do they pay? conversations could easily swing from light and casual, to deep and monumental.
5. love interest you know likes you but you're not interested. again, i'm aware of taking advantage of situations. a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to get some fro-yo.

**the last resort**

6. last but not least: parents/family/bffs (if they're not 1 or 2). here's the thing about this one--play your cards right. you're not fooling anyone in this category about your diet/exercise plans, and they will make you feel bad about every single bite you take!!!! but again, if you must do this, then you must do this!

well, that's that. got we got that cleared up, and next time you swing by yogurtland or your neighborhood fro-yo place, just remember:

who you gonna call??

it's like those kissing salt shakers...

anybody who knows anything about me knows i absolutely am enamored with love. the thing is, i go through these periods in life when i think i've completely learned to understand every aspect of love, and then BAM i get smacked in the face with something entirely new, only to re-discover it's glory in a whole new meaning.


...but i digress. i'll leave you with these words from some author from the interwebzz. what is it about love that just makes us keep going back?! you know, the boys that when you see their name light up on your phone, give you butterflies, and you spend a good ten minutes trying to come up with a good response, and the best you end up with is: "ok :)." can't live with it, can't live without it.

"...scenes with the two of them that made me happy even if the characters were miserable because even when they were miserable together, it was better for them than when they were apart. there’s that thing about falling in love where you know it’s a mistake and you’re too damn smart to do that again, but it’s just THERE, your heart beats faster when you see him, he smiles the minute he sees you, and even when it’s awful, even when you swear never again, you have to go back. it’s like those kissing salt shakers with magnets in their mouths, you just have to click together."

i took this in santa cruz last november

i am a sneaky dating ninja

so i'm pretty sneaky...
like all the time...
but i'm especially sneaky when it comes to boys.


here's the thing. i may be giving my secrets out all in one post, but maybe, just maybe, if i've ever done this to you, you can feel very flattered.


the eternal (well, hopefully not eternal) dilemma is how to keep the conversation going with guys you're digging between dates, between the weekend, and especially if you're juggling a few boys *aghem* between every other weekend!


so here's my trick. ready?? sending a "random" or "accidental" text message.


works.every.time.


here are a few examples of perfect texts to get the conversation going:
1. "hey i'm here!" or "here!" or "come out!"
     a. follow up a few seconds later (this part is optional): "oops"
2. "hey it was great seeing you at the party! let's hang out again soon!" <--this one cracks me up every time
3. making something up. for example, if a guy you're into is into BMW M6s, then say something like "hey i'm totally driving right behind an M6 right now!"
4. another great make-up text: "hey i just saw insert name here. they said hi!"


sound ridiculous? maybe. but after a few confession sessions, i realize more girls do it than you know.
after all, the key is to make the guy think it's his idea, right?? :)

how NOT to score a wife 101

dear males,

if you intend on marrying someone, please do not mimic the following story that I had the "privilege" of experiencing. girls do not like tools. thanks!

xoxo

brookie*

___________________________

Once upon a time, there was a single girl that people set up on blind dates. People that would set her up on these blind dates did not think anything through. Either that or they didn't have a high opinion of her. She would be set up with boys because she was a single girl living in Utah, and people knew a single boy who lived in Utah, without any consideration for other important things. But that is beside the point.

This one particular instance, she was being set up on a blind date with a boy we'll call snowboarder. Snowboarder was, well, a snowboarder. He thought he was really cool and as the evening progressed, single girl slowly discovered that snowboarder wasn't in fact cool. When he first picked her up from her house, he seemed like a kind, attractive young man, but unfortunately his "true colors" were about to manifest themselves.

Upon seating themselves in the car (don't worry, he didn't open the door for her--something that she had come to expect after dating a boy for five months who opened her door for all five months....and then some), they decided upon eating at a Thai restaurant that neither had eaten at before. Both enjoyed good food, and decided to be adventurous. Conversation was small talk, as it should be within the first 10 minutes of meeting someone. It took a suddenly drastic turn.

As soon as they were seated at the quaint restaurant, snowboarder asked her what sort of things she likes to do for fun. After answering cordially, she returned the question, and snowboarded proceeded to talk about him self for the remainder of the time. It was soon discovered that he loved to do some very unique things, including "beating the *insert curse word that starts in "s" here* out of dudes" while fighting, and "kicking *insert "a" word here*" on the slopes. I'm surprised, er, SHE was surprised he didn't mention loving to talk about himself.....While he went on an on using his impressive vocabulary, the waitress returned to ask how their food was tasking. After a few deep, dramatic breaths, he turned to their adorable Thai waitress, and said to her something along the lines of "are you serious? can't you see we're talking here??" Thoroughly embarrassed, single girl apologized to the waitress, told her the food (and not the company) was exquisite, and thank you very much.

After a long conversation, it was finally time to leave, and single girl couldn't wait to be away from the company of snowboarder. When snowboarder passed her freeway exit, she questioned what he was doing, and he said they would be going on a romantic drive up Alpine Loop, as he was "feelin' it." Appalled, single girl asked snowboarder to get off at the next exit, and take her home. He obliged, and took her home. Wanting to just get away from the clutches of misery (okay, maybe a little dramatic), she escaped the car as quickly as possible, saying "Thanks," but snowboarder followed her to the door for a doorstep scene. Thinking he was going for a hug, she put her arms out, and his head suddenly dipped to her 5'1'' frame to try and give her a kiss. She shoved her face into his oblique and muttered a quick "thanks" while going inside as quickly as she could. Single girl went inside and told her roommates and parents all about the horrific date she had just experienced, when she received a text message from snowboarder saying "Thanks, I had such a great time. I can't wait until we go out again."

Needless to say, she did not respond to any of the proceeding texts or phone calls. Do you blame her?

how NOT to score a husband 101

Well, since quite a few of my posts have to do with my singledom, here's another to add to the list. Let's be honest, since I don't have pictures of family events, adorable chubby children with colossal bows that look like they could eat a small child, stories about funny school experiences, or stories about my job that I can tell (TRUST ME-if I could, I would....our office has some classic characters), I will talk about dating. Plus, my friend Liz's blind date stories inspired me to write some of my own. These have potential to be equally funny and awkward.

I met this boy we'll call catering boy (a name affectionately given by my friends) at a nice event, exchanged numbers, and decided upon going out. Now, this should be something known by everyone: I despise talking on the phone more than anything. Talking on the phone makes me more nervous, more anxious, and more uncomfortable than a geeky computer nerd walking into a hip hop underground dance off. Phones and I don't get along. So, after a few text messages with catering boy, and a little "phone tag" (every time I call, I pray that the answering machine will pick up), we finally got a hold of each other. Both of us had just woken up from a nap , and spoke on the phone to figure out the details of the date. Towards the end of the very awkward phone conversation, we were wrapping things up, and amidst my sleepy and uncomfortable self, I ended the conversation in "Okay, love you! Bye!"

WHAT? WHO SAYS THAT??

After I realized the severity of what had just come out of my mouth, I suddenly hung up the phone and proceeded to somewhat have a laugh attack. I yelled down to my roommates, and told them the story among fits of laughter, and realized that my phone was lit up. I looked down at it (it was brand new, and I didn't really know how it worked yet), and realized that it had decided to call catering boy back. Upon further investigation, I realized that he had picked up the phone and was saying "Brook? Hello??" I clearly wasn't thinking clearly, and hung up so I didn't have to face him after confessing my love to him, AND having him hear me recount the embarrassing story to my roommates.

Funniest part: neither of us brought up what happened on the phone during the actual date. Awkward.

full body touching non-cuddling

i'm going to take a quick break from re-capping the last two-three months hilarious happenings by just stating that these days, all a single girl can ask for is full body touching non-cuddling.

here's how it goes:

1. subject f(emale) and subject m(ale) like each other.

2. subject f thinks that girls shouldn't do all of the work.

3. subject m thinks that guys shouldn't do all of the work.

4. during the day and any group activities a whole lot of hugging and random "behind the elbow" touching...apparently that's a subconscious indicator of attraction

5. then all of a sudden subject f and subject m find themselves in a situation where more than just the during-the-day-and-group activities can occur (although they, at first, still attend group activities....just go to ones where the rest of the group isn't paying attention, ie. movies, walking somewhere during the night, etc.)

6. then, because both subjects feel that it is the other person's responsibility to take charge, absolutely nothing occurs but what i like to call full body touching non-cuddling, or FBTNC for short. this can be described as one complete side of subject f touching the complete side of subject m with some serious electric currents running through the points of contact (again, this goes all the way down from shoulder to ankle), BUTTTT there is no intermingling of subjects occurring. no intertwining arms. no arm behind the head. no hand holding. nothing. whatsoever.

now, i've found myself in this situation several times, and have found others to be in the same position on more than one occasion and think that this needs to be remedied, without subject f having to do all of the work. which, in turn, is the whole basis of the problem.

oh well. the life of a single girl never stops being comical.

dear boys,

understand? good.

lovingly,

brookie cookie

resume of myself

if only that person really knew you...this clip will put this all into context: 

so while you were sleeping is definitely my all-time favorite movie (little known fact) and i could pretty much recite the whole movie line by line. since the first time i watched it, i felt a certain connection with it for the following reasons:

1. i am an only child, and so is she. hopefully i wont end up being a totally lonely cat lady, but who knows haha

2. we are both in love with the same man--jack (who is almost as awesome as jim from the office--did anyone watch last week's episode and LOVEEEE it????? i did!)

3. i am a total sap, and this is one of the sappiest movies of all time.

4. (saved the best for last) i can watch the clip of the newspaper kid falling on his bicycle for hours

honestly, though i definitely agree with sandra that if only some people REALLY knew and understood me, they'd dump the perfect models they're with and would run away with me into the sunset forever. this being the case, i decided to make a resume of myself. now this resume is definitely not work related, but does have some of my qualifications:

brook d

(408) you-wish

_________________

qualifications:        

-a team player

-on time

-can move her body like a cyclone, shake her tail feather, shawty get loose, drop it like it's hot, etc

-detail oriented

-loves to bake!!

-is usually clean

-takes short showers, and can get ready fairly quickly if required to

-will give you sole possession of the remote control as long as you give quality cuddle time

-speaks spanish

-is very spiritual

-is pretty easy to please (flowers, chocolate, and cuddling is all i ask)

education:    

school of love projected graduation date: when i feel like it!

bachelors of science in communication and MFHD 

work experience:   

every relationship

isn't that how it should be?

volunteer experience:

every relationship

developed some great research strategies on how to become a better girlfriend, and to

figure out what i want. also created and implemented a plan on how to help out

people with: hungry stomachs, needing rides, cheesy-phobias, commitment

issues, and numerous other tasks.

skills: i've got moves you've never seen.

references available upon request (although that could pose a slightly awkward situation)

dear perfect man,

dear somewhere out there,

i am a total sap, and someday when we meet, hopefully you wont mind that. cheesy inside-joke nicknames will always be welcome (just not the dumb ones like honey and babe) along with lots of cuddling. date nights are a must, and you HAVE to be spiritual. i've always imagined you to be some sort of mix between the following people: jim from the office because he's dripping in wittiness, benny from the sandbox (okay, he was just a childhood crush, and hopefully you wont be 8...), jack from while you were sleeping, and moroni (personality wise, of course. looks are a whole different story). 

to be totally honest, though, i hope you're not perfect. i kind of like the "rough around the edges" type of guy- it's really refreshing and totally cute when you're not smooth and totally clueless, as long as you try. 

as for now, i'll fill my sappiness canteen through watching movies (enchanted and dan in real life being some of my most recent favorites). i'm not ready for you yet, anyways. i have so much to do! first i'm going to go to underdeveloped countries that are suffering from not enough love (or vaccines, or education). i love being single for now- dancing, hanging out with friends, you know the works.

excited to meet you someday,

brook