8.06.2010

loooove!

recently, i've had this little debate going on inside my head with myself. although, i guess if it's inside my head, who else would it be with?? uhhh...anyways

what is love?

does it really exist? is it something that we can all hope to find? and does it last?

now, some may argue that i may be jaded, or bitter, but trust me when i'm say i'm definitely not either of those. i just feel that it's something that everyone should question (like whether or not you believe in a higher being or Heavenly Father), and really i'd rather question it now while i'm not in any sort of committed relationship.

background:

i used to be really cheesy. like really really cheesy. i've told two boys i love them. i also used to be a crusader for love. like so badly that my profile on here says "i think the world needs more love." but that's the thing. the more i thought about the first boy i told i loved, the more i realize that i didn't really love him. i probably said it back, because that's what girls do. that's just the next step in the progression of life, and if you don't love someone there's is something really wrong with you.

the second boy i told that i loved him, i actually seriously considered spending eternity with the kid. funny how i remember feeling that when we broke up, that i would never feel anything again. it was sort of this feeling of numbness that i had, and i felt that nothing could ever stir up emotions inside me again. i thought that i was a lost calloused soul for life and that nothing could make me more terribly happy than when i was with him, and nothing could make me more terribly sad than when we broke up. boy was i wrong.

and that's where my questioning came into place. i figure, if i had told both of those boys (and countless friends and family) that i love them, but somehow i don't love them anymore, does that mean that love does not exist? does that mean that it is just a hormonal imbalance where we trick ourselves into being in love just so we can get married or just so that we can feel close to someone? can't we feel close without saying "i love you?" didn't the Savior admonish us to love people? how can we do so if it's not real?

i have drawn my conclusion. but really, i want to hear what you think first.
so i'll leave my conclusions on love for a later post. for now, here's a new favorite song:

8 comments:

Carissa Rasmussen said...

i feel like i'm an advocate for true love that it exists:) you should definitely read the talk agency and love in marriage by elder robbins here's the link

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=e77da1615ac0c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD

and I don't think you should worry about how many guys you said i love you to because at the time you thought you were in love.(i told at least 2 guys before tyler i loved them) Just because you were wrong doesn't mean that you weren't in love...you just understand it in a different way now. the best thing you can find is someone to share eternity. Never give up on your search because no matter how hard the journey, finding him is worth every disappointment, every heartache, and every pain you've experienced!!!!

Oh by the way, I'm like totally head over heels in love with Tyler:) And you know how you tell what real love is? it's honestly when you want the very best for someone else, them being happy makes you happy, all you can think of is their well-being and how you can make life better for them. To me that is how you distinguish love from infatuation or lust or anything else.

I could keep going about this subject because I have really specific and strong feelings about love and marriage and relationships having been on all ends of the spectrum.

love you brook!

adam.katie521 said...

I ditto Carissa, except I am head over heels for my husband...not hers, hahah! Love is real and is very powerful!!! Keep your head up!! You are such an amazing girl and you are gorgeous!!! Your true love will come around. Hope all is well with you!

Carissa & Jonathan Kougias said...

I know love is definitely real. I have felt it so powerfully for Jonathan that I would do anything for him. You know me, I'm NOT a very sappy person and have not told very many people I love them except family and a couple of really close friends (like you). I was thinking why I never had really serious relationships with any guys before Jonathan. I had lots of chances for them but I always felt like I would be lying to myself and them because I knew I didn't really love them. I guess I just wanted to give my love to the absolute right person and not just pretend. I was just so blessed to find the right person so quickly in life and everybody has a different journey in life.you will know true love when it comes your way. Just keep your heart guarded to false love, but also open to the real thing. (i don't know if that makes sense) You've always been a loving person, don't give up! I love you! (How's that for not being sappy! lol)

P.S. I was going to call you to tell you about our twins, but it's been so horrible that I didn't talk to anyone for months.We've had tons of drama. sorry =( Jonathan deployed now too, but everything's going okay.

ldsfoodcritic said...

the only time i've really felt love toward someone is when i've invested myself completely in their happiness. didn't matter if they didn't reciprocate, because i had given 100%. their loss. ;)

love is work. some of the greatest experiences of my life have been after i've sacrificed myself in behalf of the person i loved. surprising them with some hair-brained scheme i conjured up, or just anticipating what i think they would want done and then doing it.

i'm pretty sure you know what love is. it's that peaceful and exhilarating thing you recognize when you see and feel it. ;)

Viviana said...

"love is not a measure of the one being loved, but of the one doing the loving" and you more than anyone I know have done a lot of loving. So... love is real and exist because of what you do for others and not what they have not done for you. You are an amazing person who will always find love in one way of another, because you take action, because you search for it. Maybe there is no romantic love in your life right now, but it will come and you will recognize it. The comments above are amazing, they are inspiring and real. Love you!

David's Holla Atchya! Blog said...

Well what'd you expect from all those married people?
You'll have to ask me in person about my thoughts on this subject, which have been on my mind this Spring and Summer as I was in a serious relationship and then was dumped flat like last period Latin.

Amy C said...

Ha, I remember thinking that exact same thing. I really believed love was fake, and people just said "I love you" because it's what one's supposed to do when you reach a certain point in life. I thought love was a fake emotion.

Now, I think love is possible if you allow yourself to feel it. People don't fall in love, THAT is fake. But people choose to love, and choose to be in love. Love is a decision we make, and one we work at. God commanded us to love one another, and just like any other commandment, we have to work at obeying it, it doesn't just happen.

thatonegirl said...

i think love is real.
we dont choose who we fall in love with, but we choose who we continue to love...
sometimes the english language is so limited. we have one word for loving food, family and those we are romantically involved with... i think that is one of the biggest problems i came across when trying to decide for myself if love was real or just an idealistic feeling

i know love is real because i have been in and out of it. i have felt the elated highs and stinging lows of it.

and i choose who it was i wanted to love for the rest of forever...

my dear Brookie, its real. but just like everything in this life its how you respond to it that matters