8.19.2012

so here i am....

and so it is. my time is quickly wrapping up here in india, and i am nothing but a weepy mess. i hardly make it though almost getting run over by a rickshaw, getting freaked out by a cow, or get smothered in line at the grocery store, without getting all teary knowing those things that drive me nuts are the things i'll be missing the most.

truth is, i was really sad to leave the states. i knew this would be a life-changing experience and many things would be different when i got back--whether it was the people/environment back at home that was different, or the new lenses with which i saw the world that was different. this has happened many times before, where i experience changes or growth in ways unique to my situations and things are never quite the same when i "return" (read this post about my thoughts on home). i thought that i'd miss the: camping, bonfires, food, outdoor concerts, hiking, slurpees, staying out late, breaking into swimming pools, and late night chats listening to the crickets and watching the stars. i thought that my heart would yearn for those things, but the truth is, i hardly missed those at all (minus some food).

this place, as i've said many times before, is indescribable. it permeates everything about you, and you can't help but fall in love with its idiosyncrasies and abrasiveness. the character everything has here and the love that you feel penetrating is undeniable as you walk down the street and everyone smiles.

in the last week, i've had the opportunity to see and many different people whether it be the rickshaw drivers or individuals in the slums. all of them have touched my heart deeply as they've expressed their gratitude for our group of interns coming "all the way from america to serve our people." they've told us "thank you for thinking of us poor people who the government doesn't even recognize as individuals" and i can't help but get emotional every time i hear that. i have tried to express to them that their love and hospitality has meant the world to me, but what i really want to share with them is that they are not invisible. they mean something to me and have left me remembering them nightly in my prayers. they have each meant something to the interns on my team. they have meant something to the individuals who, as lame as this sounds, witness pieces of their life on facebook. and they will never be forgotten to our heavenly father, who created and loves us all.

i have mixed feelings about returning, but am starting to realize that i'll leave a little bit of my heart here in india, and have it replaced in my own heart with a patchwork of bedazzled bangles, brightly colored silks, in-your-face curries, shouts of "MADAME!" and the endearing sing-songing of "welcomeeee" (instead of saying "you're welcome").

until the next time, india.

xo, brookie

4 comments:

gaijindude said...

Thanks, Brook. Bring your heart back. You'll need it later.

Stephanie said...

India will never be the same having met you! You amaze me, and I love you.

Viviana said...

you are bringing as much as you gave. What a great exchange!

RobinfromCA said...

You have a made a difference in their lives and they have made one in yours. That's what service is all about.