4.14.2009

lessons on how to make your neighbors unhappy:

1. play music as loudly as possible (please don't forget the booming bass) at ridiculous hours of the day (preferably somewhere between 2 and 7 am).

2. get totally wasted and go on your back porch, which is way too close to your other neighbors' back porches, and vomit and scream obscenities.

3. after completing step #2, start climbing the fake rock wall behind your porch that leads to a house higher up on the hill. 

4. go outside and have everyone start their trucks at the exact same time to see whose is the loudest (this again is best when done between 2 and 7 am).

5. after completing step #4, start revving your engines to see whose is the loudest.

6. leave all beer cans, cigarette butts, red cups, and other party essentials on your little piece of 6 by 6 grass in front of your house that you share with your neighbors. 

7. send jehovah's witnesses their way.

8. park behind their garage/driveway. this is most effective when parking on the street is illegal altogether.

4 comments:

Mallory said...

9. Fornicate loudly

Evaly said...

lovely.

gaijindude said...

home sweet home. it kind of makes you homesick for your California neighbors.

brook said...

mal. i was *THIS* close to putting up something to that extent as i share a wall with them....

dad, they just MIGHT be the california neighbors....i wouldn't be surprised. although they still haven't thrown eggs are our driveway, or smashed anything on our front porch yet....