another "how to" post

following some of my other how to posts, i've decided to post another--

how to get a whole entire row to yourself on a southwest flight:

preface: we all know how southwest works, but in case you don't, here's how it goes. everyone gets a letter and a number. i have no idea how either work, but i always seem to get the last letter possible and the last number possible. then, you board according to letter and number, and you get to choose where you sit. usually, couples will sit with one in the aisle and one at the window with all of their very important carry-ons in between them, which, naturally, means "we don't want you sitting here."

and now on to the how to:
1. become ill (i, for example, i had sinusitis, two ear infections, and h1n1).
2. sit right in between one of those couples that are being rude.
3. start coughing incessantly (blowing your nose also helps with dramatic effect) and murmur things to yourself about swine flu, pandemic influenza, and h1n1.
4. take forever to figure out where you're going to leave that dirty tissue you just used (look in the seat pocket in front of you, put it on your lap, etc.).
5. watch the people sitting next to you drop like flies*.

epilogue: the greatest thing about this tactic (especially if you really were sick like myself) is that once the airplane has taken off and people don't move seats anymore, you can stretch out and get the whole row to yourself. sleep, the #1 best medicine, becomes your companion, and the flight is much more enjoyable.

happy flying!

*please keep in mind this was not a selfish act on my part, but i was acting selflessly. i did not want others to get sick, and i did not want others to have to experience my very ornery temperament after traveling for 40 hours straight...(chile to lima to el salvador to LA to two flights being canceled in LA to finally SLC)


austin said...

Genius! I'm flying to Estonia in two weeks, and this might just be part of my travel plans...

David's Holla Atchya! Blog said...

You're like a flying Guru. Perhaps you can make a profesion out of it- giving people advice for effective flying techniques. You sound like you have tried and tested quite a few.
P.S. I found your comments on libraries on my blog to be very insightful and humorous. Thanks.

Viviana said...

Brook, I am so surprised you did not mention the "I have not showered for 30 hours look". Or, the loud WHAT!? to everything people say around you - as a consequence of having plugged ears. The wool socks and boots in a 93 degree weather. And of course the drooling when you fall asleep. If I remember right, all these things did help you get a whole row on the plane!! Ha ha, what fun memories.

Carissa & Jonathan Kougias said...

lol! this creates a fabulous image in my mind. =)